Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

last week, tyler came running into my room in the morning, crying and saying that his little angel had broken into "three pieces." i had given him a little willow tree angel figurine for his 7th birthday present and he thought he had "bumped it from the nightstand" and had shattered it. he was so distraught. he tugged my arm and said, "let's go see it, mom." i tried to calm him down and told him we would put the pieces back together. he cried all the way upstairs. we finally got back to his room and he looked behind his bed where it had fallen. he stopped crying immediately and said nonchalantly, "oh, it survived."
i never want to forget the way he said, "oh, it survived." it was so funny- the way he stopped crying in a second. i cracked up laughing.

tyler, remember this morning? you always make me laugh!!

ps. i took chase to get a haircut yesterday and he got a bowl cut!! i didn't say anything to the stylist who was so proud of it! i didn't have the heart to's just hair anyways! he looks so nerdy and i can't help laughing every time i look at him! it's THAT funny looking!

random thoughts:

1. i had a friend come over the other week and after looking over the house, she said, "this house was totally the model home for the area." i asked her how she knew and she pointed out: the trees in your yard are the tallest, the house has intricate flooring that a normal person would rarely put in, the house has a lot of very custom built ins and expensive curtains, top of the line carpet, mirrored archways that a normal person wouldn't put in, etc." she is totally correct! i don't know why i didn't see it before and i don't know why i find this information so exciting! i'm such a weirdo but i find it exciting! maybe because i have been through many model homes and i always think that i want to live in a former model home...well, i have been for months and just realized it! yay!! can cross that off my bucket list! :)

2. starting my new calendar today (my calendar always go from june to june). that is exciting stuff, i tell you!

3. this morning, tyler and chase were fighting...
me: tyler, stop hitting chase.
tyler: he hit me first with all his might so i had to get him back.
chase: i didn't hit you with all my might. i hit you very weakly. you hit me with all your might. don't you know you have a six pack?!

i don't know...just find this funny. they crack me up all day long!

4. i think it is so cute when kids read phonetically and it is not correct. for example, when we first moved here, chase said, i want to eat at carls ger. i didn't know what he was talking about at first and then, i realized that he meant carl's junior! he was just reading the jr. on the sign as ger! then, there is this yogurt place called omg yogurt. he doesn't know that omg stand for oh my god so he reads it letter for letter. very cute.

5. welcome to the world, ruby and  kaeden! i would post pictures of you two cutie patooties but i can't post pictures on this site at the moment!! you two are too cute!

6. have a great wednesday. can't believe i'm going home next week! yay!! i am anticipating eating tons of food all week long!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

i feel like such a bad mommy right now. :(

-missed baseball game this morning
-didn't finish hw last week
-went out to eat greasy chinese food last night
-didn't go to piano or jjs lesson last week
-haven't really been working with chase too much lately
-haven't been reading to the boys as much as i like to
-had to cancel korean school and ask for credit for another sememster and the principal wasn't too happy with me

you know what it is? we just have too many activities for tyler and he is stretched out toooooo thin. poor kid! poor mommy!

i kid you not- poor tyler wakes up, goes to school, does one or two activites every weekday after school, comes home to eat dinner and is sooo tired he falls asleep within two minutes of being in bed. it's so sad. i mean, he is not really practicing all the activities that he should be practicing on a daily basis because he has NO time whatsoever. ok, something has to change. it's pretty bad when we have like two activities lined up at the SAME TIME and i have ulcers thinking of excuses to get out of one and think that i'm getting some teacher or coach upset.

i'm done with all this. we're going to have to do some weeding of activities. it's sad because he does enjoy each activity and i want him to learn and experience everything, but when he (and i) can't humanly DO all these things, it's too much.

i just want more quiet time at home with my boys!!

urgh.. what a horrible morning.

feeling like you are the worst mommy is such a bad feeling.

Friday, March 23, 2012

random thoughts:
1. this site is looking pretty sad without any pictures huh? i will try to put some pics up soon!

2. i miss souplantation! roseville has pretty much every restaurant (except korean) and store that they have in OC, however, there is no souplantation around here! it makes me so sad cause i really do like souplantation (with coupon).

3. we planned our spring break to LA and OC and i can't believe we are going back to our "home" as visitors! we are doing the whole "LA, OC trip": universal studios, beach, getty, disneyland, medieval times, and eating lots of korean food (and possibly souplantation). i'm excited! :)

4. this morning, i went to get a much needed (and deserved!) swedish massage. they are so cheap around here...yay! the girl kept whispering in my ear and freaking me out. i guess she wanted to keep things quiet and relaxed and if she wanted to ask me if "it's ok? too hard?" she would come close to my ear and whisper it all breathy! by the third time, i wanted to tell her to talk normally and not come close to my ear again! oh, and another thing...i feel like she would hold my hand for too long...not really hold it...more like be palm to palm and pressed down on it. it was as if we were holding hands. it was too "close for comfort!" haha... i mean, rub my naked bod down with oil, but don't be holding my hand!! it was strange.

5. this reminds me of one massage experience i rather forget. ok, i had the most uncomfortable massage once. i can't believe i am going to share this with y'all!! haha...  imagine the most uncomfortable massage experience... can you guess what that would be?! ok, so one time i went to get a massage when we were staying at a hotel (forget which one, but it doesn't matter to this story).  i got on the massage table and i had like MAJOR gas!! damn, try holding in YOUR farts for a good hour while someone is standing right near your ass with a thin sheet separating you two!!! haha... that is the most unrelaxing, tension filled massage i've ever received! i came back to the hotel room and jason was like, "so how was it?!" and i was like, "i don't even want to talk about it" and excused myself to the balcony.

can't believe i just shared that with y'all. i have no shame. i know. whatevers! you fart, i fart..everyone big deal! haha...

well, hope you enjoy a smell free, beautiful weekend and may you be able to freely release of your gas whenever you damn feel like it without feeling like you have to hold it in...that is my wish for you today! :)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

ok, found the house and now... the mission is...decorate the house! freakin a, i am so clueless in this area too!!! i told you...average jane at everything! i know, it sucks.

thoughts on decorating:

1. what is my STYLE you ask? heck if i know! i don't have one! vintagey? (no) modern? (no) elegant? (do you find me elegant? didn't think so.) country? (no) asian? (no) native americany? (no) no, no, and no! i don't have a STYLE for cryin out loud. i just want something that looks semi put together, semi not-college apartment looking. please!

2. people tell me to make a STYLE BOOK for what i like. the crazy thing is... i will like one VINTAGEY clock, one ASIAN looking art, one MODERN looking table, one COUNTRY looking kitchen cabinets. in pieces, i like it all! but i just don't think those things will look cohesive TOGETHER...that's the problem!

3. also, i have some pieces of furniture that are not too old, but what am i doing to do...chuck those things to "start over?!" probably not. so that means that i have to work with what i have right now, right? but what if my tastes have changed? what if my current color scheme doesn't do anything for me now...does that mean, i throw away all my art pieces and start all over again? oh geez louise. can a million bucks just fall at my feet, like, now?

4. i go from..."buy expensive pieces that will last a lifetime." to "what is the point? i'm going to hate it in a couple of years. just buy cheap to satisfy my fickleness so i don't feel to bad when i want to get rid of it in a couple of years (or months!)!

5. how do people put rugs under their dining tables? if you have kids, there is NO WAY you can put a rug under your dining table. that rug will be splattered with every sauce imaginable!

6. i love most model homes. how the heck do some people decorate so pretty?! i love how all the rooms are connected in some way.....from the living room to the kids''s all so dang perfectly put together!! how, how, HOW, HHHHHOOOOWWWW?!!! can you sense my desperation?!

anyways, something new to keep my little brain busy with for the time being. it's always something, right mommies? :)

Monday, March 19, 2012

good news, everyone! we finally found THE house!! yay!! i'm so does "make sense!" all of it just fell into place. after looking at so many old ass, nasty, overpriced homes in granite bay, ca, we decided to go a tad bit north and look in a newer city called rocklin. thanks to some help and info from a high school buddy richard ng, we found the perfect house! it's getting built right now and, if all goes as planned, we'll be moving in the end of july! yay! can you tell i'm happy?! i just visited the neighborhood school and the principal was so sweet and gave me a impromptu tour and i felt so welcomed! :)

the ONLY bad thing about this decision is that we already registered the boys' for school next year at tyler's current private school in granite bay thinking we would find a house near there, and i'm sure that the registration fee is nonrefundable. sadness! :( that's a good chunk of change! i'm hoping they'll give me something for that money...maybe give me credit and let the boys go to summer camp on credit so i don't feel like we've completely threw away the money down the toilet?!

in any case, i feel "good." you know, when you just know that you've made the right decision? that's how i feel right now.

thank you to all of you who helped me in this process. thanks for all of you who listened to me cry and whine and vent through this frustrating time. thank you to claud for listening every day to the ups and downs of house searching. thank you to jen who helped me sooo much and for hooking me up with lance (though i never called him...sorry!). thank you to chris for making the home search sound actually fun and exciting! thank you to weikuo and susan for the words of encouragement and support! thank you to richard ng (don't think he will read this!) for helping us find our home! thank you jess and rich for seeing the house with us yesterday (please move here!).  thank you jesus for always providing and having a master and better plan for us.

i'm sounding like i've just received award or something, right?! because i am that excited! i can't wait to finally get settled and FEEL settled and not feel like things are so temporary. that will be a good feeling. yay....cheers all around. wish i could share a nice sweet fruity cocktail drink with y'all today! yup, on a monday morning!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

i go through food phases. (surprise. surprise.) there was a month when i drank soy milk every day. i read somewhere it was healthier than milk and so i forced myself to drink a cup. (i have boxes of soy milk from costco sitting in my garage at the moment and i'm trying to think of ways to donate them. i am concerned that they might not be good, but if they haven't reached expiration date, they should be ok, right?) then, i went through a greek yogurt phase. i would top plain full fat greek yogurt with tons of agave and granola and tell myself it was good for me. then i realized that this "healthy" breakfast was about 500 calories and put that aside. now, i'm going through a sun dried tomato pesto (from tjs) phase. soo yummy! i mix it up with a little bit of cream and top it on pasta for the boys, i add it to whole wheat bread with some turkey and, voila, lunch is served! it's so flavorful and i love it!

i have many dear friends with the name jennifer. so it is jen, jenn, and jenny. all day long, i'm like, jen did this and this is happening to jenny and jennifer said this and jason is like, "WHO are you talking about? why are all your friends named jen?!" haha...

ok. totally random post but i thought i would just get on to say hi this morning. it's still raining here. yes! yes! love the rain! keep it coming so i don't have to go to baseball practices and games! thank you to the one who sends rain our way!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

random thoughts:

1. oh wow..i really don't feel like doing anything today. i woke up a little sick and i'm feeling so...blah!

2. these parakeets have GOT to go! when we first got them, i thought their chirping and SINGING would be so beautiful and relaxing. now, their squaking and shrieking sounds like fingernails on chalkboard. i don't know why but every time i see them in the morning or after coming home from being out, i see them in their cage and think, "oh wow, you're still alive." like i said, i don't know why i think that... isn't that horrible?!

3. we didn't get the house that we wanted. now we're back to square one. don't have any words right now.

4. did you know they sell kim chee at trader joes now! i'm so happy! now i don't have to drive 3 hours to get my kim chee fix... coolness! i know i'm like the only person in roseville who goes into trader joes and get three bags! haha, i have a feeling that this is a temporary item. i can't imagine many people in roseville wanting kim chee!

5. did i write in here that i don't feel like doing anything today?! it's the rain, i tell you.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

random thoughts:

1. happy birthday to my sweet boy, tyler! you are 7 today! i can't believe you will be in third grade in september. didn't you just start kindergarten?! i always think, "wow...i only have 10 more years until he goes to college!" 10 years go by so quickly so i will cherish every moment with you!

2. jenn is in labor right now! i am so happy our babies will share a birthday! yay, jenn! i can't wait to meet baby lagro! you win the award for longest labor ever! :)

3. i am not a fan of krispy kreme. yuckaroo. tyler wanted me to bring some for his class today and i had one... oh, so gross! it's like gummy batter and oil and sugar..that's all i taste. it's so gross. their coffee wasn't any better either.

4. i don't think beyonce was really pregnant and gave birth to her child. yup, i said it! :) i totally think she had a surrogate. did you see that shot of her tummy as she sat down for an interview? her tummy totally collapsed in an very unusual way, like she was wearing a FAKE tummy that they use on movie sets. i've been pregnant twice and NO pregnant belly can fall over the way hers did. i'm not knocking her because it's her perogative if she uses a surrogate or not, i'm just saying that i don't believe she was really pregnant with her own baby.

5. our real estate agent called us last night and told us that the house we were going to put a bid on already got an offer. i felt kicked in the stomach and felt discouraged all over again. wow... this is crazy hard! i think we might need to find a new agent. i don't know... something is amiss here. i feel like something between us and the agent are not aligning here. :(

6. there was a second (like literally, a second) when i thought that i could be a real estate agent. that's before i became a client. omg, i would NEVER want to work with someone like me! i would just tell her (myself) that she (i) would need to find her (my) services somewhere else! haha...

7. there was also a second when i thought i could be a nurse. that was until i became a patient and saw firsthand what nurses really do and have to deal with. could i do it? don't think so! i have deep respect.

8. next year, both the boys will be be in school from 8:30-3:30! oh wow, right? what am i going to do with myself? currently, i have about 10 hours-15 hours a week to myself because chase is in school part time. i don't know what the heck i'm going to do? job? nah. exercise? i should. cook? damn,  now i really don't have an excuse! i wish i could make something at home (something artsy fartsy) on my own schedule and sell it on ebay or etsy to make some extra income. too bad i don't have any talents like that. so sad that i'm such an average joe (jane) at everything. can someone just bless me with some talent over here?! is that too much to ask?! for  now, i guess i'll just sit at home and pick my nose.

9. goal for tomorrow: plan spring break. what is wrong with you, child? didn't you go to college? it's not that difficult to reserve a hotel and buy some dang tickets! (i'm enjoying talking to myself on his site! it's so schizophrenic!)

happy tuesday. it's raining all week here and i could not be more happy. that means sports are cancelled! can i get a "woohoo!!" i love you, rain! (i obviously like talking to rain on this site too!)

Monday, March 12, 2012

hello hello,

why do i always have so much to do on mondays?! i always feel overwhelmed on mondays!

went to my favorite coffee house this morning. it's called kona coffee and it's the anti-starbucks- family owned, fresh baked pastries, cozy tables and atmosphere. at the bottom of the menu, it reads "EXTRAS: love...cost: free" so cute, right? it's one of my favorite places to go to near our place and i will be sad when we move away from it.

i hate moving! well, this time, we won't be moving too far. just one city over, but it's far away enough that i will most likely have to "learn" another area...oh dear, here we go again!

i'm thinking of telling the agent to put an offer on a house today. it's an older home (like most homes in granite bay) and i'm so worried about the whole renovating process...never done that before! i just want to get something, renovate and be in by summer. i'm anticipating the next few months will be so hectic. oh crap!! i am stressing out over here. jason's at work today and, seriously, i feel like he is so hands off with this house hunting process. he is like, "call the agent today and tell him what you want to do." WHAT?! so the ball is in my court?! i can't handle the stress here. it's such a big decision and i have no family here to help me with this decision. what to do? what to do? i'm just sitting here wondering if i will make the right decision.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

i have so much to do today! i wish i could just put two fingers together and freeze time. wasn't there a sitcom like that back when we were kids? the best thing about being a stay at home mom is that nothing is very urgent. i mean, everything on my to do list can be put off til tomorrow without any dire consequences whatsoever. but at the same time, i can't use that as an excuse! i need to get things done around here to have this household running in tip top shape! my goodness! don't think stay at home moms sit on their butts eating bon bons all day (i love that saying..."eating bon bons"... when did eating chocolate covered ice cream get such a bad rap?! it's just funny to me). anyways, there is always something for me to do...and i still don't get everything i need/want to do done! i have no idea how working moms do it all-  take care of kids, the house, AND WORK?! don't think i can do it.

happy wednesday. need to get my butt in gear and get some stuff done around the house!

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

now i'm getting mad.

buying a home should not be this difficult! we've seen so many homes and none of them "make sense." people say that you will know if you like a house because you will be able to see your family in it. oh really? i haven't seen one like that yet. i'm getting frustrated at myself. is it ME? am i being too un reasonable and picky? (jason doesn't care where we's pretty much up to me.)

too small, too big, too old (too much to renovate), too new (meaning we have to do the backyard and pool), not enough rooms, too many rooms, wrong layout, not enough natural light, too far away from where we want to be, doesn't feel neighborly enough, too cheap, too expensive, too big of yard (omg! the maintenance!), too small of yard (can the boys throw a ball around?) the grassy area is on a slope, the previous owners did so much renovating (we hate all the things they did to the place), the previous owners did nothing to this place in the last 10 years (so much for US to do!)  the list of doubt is endless ....the wishwashyness of myself is enough to drive myself crazy. i'm thinking our agent is pretty damn annoyed at me too. i'm thinking he will drop us as clients any day now (does that ever happen? well, we just might be the first.)

there is this one house that we don't LOVE, but will do...basically, it's good enough- barely. will we regret it later? will we look back and think "why the hell did we live in THAT?!" there have been three houses that we "lost" and it's drives me crazy to think about them! one house, i thought it wasn't "wow" enough at the time (looking back, it was PERFECT!), then, this one house came on the market when jason was in the philipines and was in escrow by the time he came back (so i blame him for that one). this other house, by the time we went to see it, it had already gotten offers on 10 days of listing!

just be patient, right? i mean, there is really no rush, right? something will come up, right? i don't know. i'm starting to think we won't. i feel bad for our agent too. how many more homes does he have to show us before he gets paid for all the time he has spent with us so far? at this point, i'm so frustrated with the whole process. i'm so tired of getting my hopes up based on pictures online and being totally disappointed when we go visit the house (wow..those pics are soooo deceiving!) i wish we could just be done with it already! i want to be in a good home with good feng shui and good energy for the boys to grow up in!

i don't think i'm a picky person AT ALL, but why is this home search driving me up the wall?!!!

Sunday, March 04, 2012

music is important.

the other week, i was waiting with chase while tyler had his juijitsu class. for some reason, i wasn't in a grouchy ass mood. you see, i hate all sporting type things- including all sports that my boys are involved in. i try VERY hard not to show my disdain in front of the boys and wear a fake smile as they practice running, catching balls, hitting with sticks, etc, but i'm practically writhing in pain in my seat and have the most bored look on my face. so i was amazed to see that i felt relaxed and actually was enjoying waiting for tyler's juijitsu practice to end. then i realized why! they had music on in the waiting area. i couldn't believe it.... that little change made all the difference in the world! amazing, i thought. i didn't know that music could affect that much.

if you find a great exercise class that you love, you are very lucky. with so many years of taking different classes here and there, i realize that a GREAT class with a GREAT teacher that you just LOVE is very hard to find! you kind of have to mesh with the instructor and love the same kinds of moves AND music. for example, some teachers are more "latin-y", some are more hip hop, some are more "80s." anyways, it's more difficult to find than you would imagine....sad! i've recently have been trying out this family owned gym around here. the other moms around here love it. me? not so much. i've taken a few classes and the teachers are super friendly and nice, but i'm not feeling the music! they have these generic music they exercise to. it SOUNDS like something top 40ish, but it's not anything they play on the radio. the choreographed moves are so lame too. i'm on a mission to find a class that i love. i hope i find one!

i am so fickle. really. this whole house hunting business in bringing my fickleness to light. yesterday morning, i told jason to call our agent to bid on this one house. by night, i had totally changed my mind to another house.. in a completely different price point. jason looked at me like i was crazy and told me that he couldn't believe that i could go from one house to another completely different house in one day. i know...i can't believe it myself. it's just the way i operate. with money, spending, things like that, i KNOW i am very contradictory. i have this crazy inner struggle all the times: at one spectrum, i want to spend less and save, i want to live with less, i want to buy generic, i want to live a quiet, humble, plain life. on the other hand, i want more, more,  more! i want to spend, spend, spend! i want brand names! it's totally my dad (simple, plain life) vs. my mom (brand name is important, spend big or go home). i am a child who was raised with two completely different sets of values, hence, the inner turmoil is constantly there. i go through stages waivering back and forth between the two for sure and it shows in the way i live. so which house will we end up with? i have no idea. i guess it depends on who i listen dad on my left shoulder or my mom on my right.

i live next to this car wash called quick quack. they have duck as a mascot and on certain days, they have the mascot dressed on the street dancing to advertise their car wash. (think yellow donald duck on the street waving at passing cars) i don't know why, but it always makes me happy to see. it's just so odd to see.... like, the boys and i are rushing in the mornings and i'm driving them to school and i see this duck dancing and being silly on the street, and looking so out of place, and it just always makes me and the boys laugh.

have a great sunday. on the agenda today? well, going to more open houses, of course!! :)