Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, April 14, 2003

What did I do today? My official first day of Spring Break!

Some highlights include:

1. Went to an aerobics class where an overweight instructor barked orders at the class like he was one of those drill sergeants that I see on Jenny Jones keeping young hooligans in check. He barely moved during the class and I highly doubt he broke out in any small amount of sweat. Looking at him was so uninspiring that I had to leave half way.

2. Thought about how sweet Jen is for having to deal with the stench of kim-chee that permeates the room when I eat it. A thought to ponder upon: Even when the kim-chee jar is closed tightly, how come the whole frig smells like it is ajar?

3. Felt happy for most of the day as I thought about being single and looked forward to my cake decorating class. Then, felt sad about being alone as the sun set and I could hear the rain falling from the roof. Too many Korean dramas, I tell you.

4. Went to a cake decorating class. The instructor, who I believe is from Africa, had a very heavy accent. Whenever she would mean to say sheet cake, it would come out of her mouth as “shit cake”. (I shit you not.) Anyways, I couldn’t help but laugh every time she said it and the more she said it, the funnier I thought it was. The odd thing is that no one else in the class thought twice about it. They all sat there straight faced, with not even a slight chuckle. I couldn’t believe it! I was worried that the instructor would think I was laughing at her so I tried really hard to fight myself. Dude, but “This is how you make shit cake” is funny!!

A Case of Murphy’s Law

There are two meetings that I have agreed to attend on a monthly basis this school year. One is called BTSA (Beginning Teachers Support A….. Assholes??) and the other is Evenings for Educators at LACMA. BTSA is cool because we get a $50 gift certificate to a publishing company at every meeting (plus, tons of other door prizes) And, at LACMA, I get to feel cultured and sophisticated walking around and viewing its latest collections. I even get to make/ do, um… I’ll call them projects (You could call them crafts.) that I could do with my students. This is fun and stress relieving because it makes me feel like I am seven years old again.

Last month, as I was experiencing post-marathon disorder, I decided that it would be best for me to stay off my feet, take it easy, and “chillax” (Are we getting hang of this word now? Can I take it out of quotes?) So I proclaimed myself ill and decided to skip the meetings. What's one day, right?

At this month’s meetings, I find out that, at BTSA, all participants were given 15 books on various teaching materials! And, at LACMA, the lessons that were taught were on various watercolor techniques, which is what I’ve been dying to do with my kids.

Moral of the story: Go to every meeting. Get your free books. Get your lesson plans. Get. Get. Get.

Someone asked me the other day if I was from the South. When I asked why he would ask that, he replied that I have a Southern drawl when I speak. At that time, I didn’t completely understand what he was talking about.

Anyways, after talking to Susan last night, I realize that if I talk anything like her (And many would say that I do.), then I most certainly have a drawl. I wish you could hear what she sounds like. She kept repeating over and over last night, “But I’m shy!” like a Southern Bell on crack.
(You know I love you, Su-jan!)

Thursday, April 10, 2003

I had the best dream last night. I dreamt that I was falling in love again. There was no face on my mystery man (shucks), but I felt all the emotions of falling in love. I vaguely recall being at a dinner party and us sneaking off into the kitchen to steal some kisses, hoping not to get caught. It was really cute, actually.

Then, I was awaken by my phone ringing. It was a parent of one of my students telling me that she wanted help chaperone the field trip today to the Natural History Museum. I was sad she woke me up from my dream, but terribly happy that she was going to relieve me from the stress of keeping twenty, seven year olds tame and quiet all by myself.

Being single again is a definite roller coaster ride. Some days (and my past blogs will attest), it is wonderful! You feel freedom of doing anything you want without having to compromise with anyone. Then other days, it downright sucks. I guess I have been going through more of the latter emotion the past few days. I know, woe is me.

Spring Break is just around the corner. I can’t wait to “chillax” and breathe for a moment. I guess I should make some sort of plans ahead of time so I don’t sit here next Sunday and ask myself where all my time went. It really would be a shame if I wasted my Spring Break in front of the TV stuffing my face with crap. (Doesn’t that paint a nice picture?)

Recently, I found a dreams/ goals list that I made out my freshman year in college-somewhat of a “to do” list with my life that I jotted down in one sitting. God, some of it is off the wall funny. Here are some from the list:

1. Buy a dog for dad. (?)
2. Pack lunches at night. (what?)
3. Have an activity room for my children. (what the...?)

I can’t wait to show the unabridged list to my future husband. Reading this list, I realize that it really does tell what I am all about, what I think is most important in my life, and things that I cannot wait to do when I start a family.

I received flowers anonymously at school today. Getting flowers without knowing who sent them is weird. I feel like I can't ask anyone, "Oh, by the way, did you send me flowers today?" To the person who didn't send them, it might sound like I am gloating-basking in egotism. I guess it would be best not to ask anyone, but then.. I wan’t to know! It is probably one of you. If it is, please let me know. I don’t like not knowing. You got me for tell me!

Monday, April 07, 2003

It is late and I should be sleeping right now. I've been waiting for hours to receive an email from Susan. Susan, it better be worth the wait! :) ...I'll let you know if it is!

Hi Cher! :) Yeah, one more reader...that makes 4! Yipee!

Sunday, April 06, 2003

This weekend, I went to a church retreat with Westside Oikos. Though I had a wonderful time, I am feeling really crappy right now. PMS? I don't know...probably. When I think about J and everything that has happened, sometimes, I feel like like someone is ripping out my heart. How could two people care so much about each other, yet torture and hurt each other the way that we did? I know that what I am going through are very normal symptoms of a break up but that doesn't lessen the pain.