Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Just found my old Shaggy CD yesterday and this song brought a smile to my face- it's very chill and I love the message. I used to love Shaggy back in the day...driving around in my sky blue Toyota Corolla back in high school- man, I was cool...haha! Song dedicated to my boys. When you are sad, I hope you will remember dancing with mommy to this song yesterday!

Keeping It Real

Uh- thats right
Reality checkin on in
Street lights eh
Scorpion yeah uh

When I was young
I use to dream of being rich
Have alot of houses and cars
Couldn't know which one was which
And finding me a chick and getting hitched
Living the fairy tale life perfect without a hitch
You think that this would bring me happiness
If at the end of every rainbow
There was a treasure chest
Sometimes having more is really less
So take a look inside yourself
You'll realize you're really blessed
No matter how you're sad and blue
There's always someone who has it worse than you
Sometimes you gotta pay your dues
So don't worry just push on through

Keep'n it real
Gotta big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they gotta struggle
Keep'n it real
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Keep'n it real
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain't no need in drowning in your sorrows
Keep'n it real
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there'll be a brighter tomorrow

I never got to have myself the house, the mansion, and the Benz
I'm not the type of brother who'd be making mad ends
I got myself a girl but we be kickin' it as friends
Is not enough for me now that depends
Again- not everthing you want is everything you really need
The standard of society is motovatived by greed
Are you prepared to follow
Tell me, you prepared to lead
So persevere and you'll suceed

Keep'n it real
Gotta big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they gotta struggle
Keep'n it real
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Keep'n it real
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain't no need in drowning in your sorrows
Keep'n it real
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there'll be a brighter tomorrow

*Hook*
All the harsh realities
Appears to come in twos and threes
Don't worry cuz
There'll be a better day
One thing I can promise you
Just keep on keeping on
I swear to you
There's gonna be a brighter day

Back in the days
I use to dream of being rich
Have alot of houses and cars
Couldn't know which one was which
And finding me a chick and getting hitched
Living the fairy tale life perfect witout a hitch
You think that this would bring me happiness
If at the end of every rainbow there was a treasure chest
Sometimes having more is really less
So take a look inside yourself
You'll realize you're really blessed
No matter how you're sad and blue
There's always someone who has it worse than you
Sometimes you gotta pay your dues
So don't worry just push on through

Keep'n it real
Gotta big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they gotta struggle
Keep'n it real
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Keep'n it real
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain't no need in drowning in your sorrows
Keep'n it real
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there'll be a brighter tomorrow

That's right, see me, yeah
Give thanks fa wha you have, ya kno
And when you think that its bad
There's always somebody that's worse
Kno what I'm sayin'
Give Jah blessing, see me
Wa-wa, Wa-wa
Wa-wa, wa-wa

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I'm a bad, bad, bad business woman! Really bad! I don't know what is wrong with me. I know that I work so hard to give the kids in my care the best that I can give them and even if it costs me money and is unnecessary because the parents will never know the monetary value to what I do and what I purchase, the thing is that I KNOW and I want the best for my kids.

The STUPID thing is I'm not even working to make money. I mean, I do make some money, but that's not my GOAL. I love what I do, I get a real sense of accomplishment, I love being with Tyler and Chase and being able to control what they learn.

What makes me so timid? Why do I feel like I shouldn't be compensated as much, if not more, than what other schools are asking for?!

Money and I have real issues. I am just always content with what I have. I never yearn for more. I've always been this way and I'm realizing it even more since I opened the school. Some people have a fire under their ass to make money. For me, I am and always have been sitting on a unlit match.

Some lady I met the other day offered me half my day's wages to tutor her kid for an hour. Half a day's wages?! I mean, I get to work with ONE kid for ONE hour instead of six kids for three hours and get paid the same amount?! For real? And that got me really thinking, what is my value? What do I bring to the table? What do I think I am worth?

Hopefully, I'll build more confidence as I do this longer.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I can't believe I haven't written in here is so long! Not much is going on. The days are passing by me like a big blur. I wake up at 6:30 every morning and can't believe when dinner time rolls around because it feels like I just woke up!

Chase is talking more and that means one thing at home... FIGHTS! The fights are in full force here at the Kim house. The boys are fighing for every little thing these days and it is seriously driving me crazy! I looked in my rearview mirror today while I was driving and saw Chase full on slap Tyler in the face and Tyler was about to slap Chase back but I stopped him in time. Oh my! Sometime I can't believe that I have two boys!

I went and got a $20 haircut a couple of weeks back and guess what? It looks just like $20 haircut....crappy. Last time I go to a chain store to get a haircut! What the heck was I thinking?! haha....

I just turned in all my paperwork for Tyler to go to Kindergarten this September. Kind of makes me sad to see him grow up. :(

Someone suggested to me this afternoon that I should charge hourly to teach kids how to read. Hmmm... made the little wheels in my head turn. I love teaching kids how to read and find it the most rewarding thing to do. I think I will one day. The "seed" was planted in my head today. It will take some years, but I can totally see myself doing this in a couple of years, maybe when both the boys are in school.

ok, hope you are having a great week! :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Random thoughts.

1. I'm done, done, done with facebook. For some reason, in seriously a second, I found it repulsive and deactivated myself immediately. If I want to talk to friends, I will do so through email, phone, or in person. Those acquaintances I have on facebook, that's exactly what they are...acquaintances. I don't need to know about them and they don't need to know about me.

2. I feel bad every time I see Tyler's red face. We were at the park for hours yesterday for his birthday party and I didn't put sunscreen on his face. Chase is fine but Tyler's face is so red! I feel terrible.

3. I just want a quiet day at home today. I want to just lounge around, clean up, and rest! I miss Jason already and don't know how I will survive this week (that's postive thinking for you!)

Just kind of feeling blah right now...mixture of being mad at something and feeling sad that Jason will be gone for a week. Hopefully, this week will be better! :)

Friday, March 05, 2010




Some pics of the boys in the rain last month. Chase loved running around in the rain and getting wet.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

As you can see, I'm a bit obsessed with American Idol this season (crazy, since I have never seen another season). I'm always a tad bit late on trends. :) Anyways, here is another one of my favorites, Alex Lambert. I love his voice. It's so unique. If I heard this song on the radio, I would want to hear it over and over.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I was online and saw this letter written to American Idol, John Park. It cracked me up so I thought I would share. I agree with what the writer is saying....totally. I was thinking the same thing, and I get it. I don't know why I am rooting for this guy so much. Maybe cause he is the first Asian that I've seen on tv in a long time who doesn't make Asians look silly and stupid.


Dear John Park,

I get it. I really do. I'm Asian-American just like you and I know what you're going through. But if you want to remain on AMERICAN IDOL you're going to have to do something very drastic. Here's my advice to you, and I'm going to get a lot of shit for saying this, but you have to be LESS ASIAN! That's right, less Asian. And I don't mean have less pride in your heritage or deny who you really are or get eye surgery like most Asian celebrities do in an attempt to break into the American market. I mean, it's time to step out of yourself.

Judging from your last two televised performances, I can tell you're approaching this AMERICAN IDOL experience like you're studying for a final exam. It's a very Asian thing to do. I get it. It's our default function. But you have to stop doing that, because you're coming off very cerebral and cold, and like the judges keep telling you, you're not connecting to the song or the audience. This is singing, not advanced trig. You have to let go of the Asian studios nature and completely give yourself to the creative process. I know, I know...culturally speaking, Asian children are generally not encouraged to pursue a life in the arts, so somewhere behind closed doors, even though your parents are sitting front row every week on IDOL to show support, they're really thinking in the back of their minds, "If this doesn't work out, it's time to get a real job." And you're probably thinking the same thing too because you don't want to disappoint them or embarrass them in front of their peers. You're probably feeling the weight of the world right now, being the only person on IDOL representing Asians this season. But whatever you're going through is nothing compared to the pressures of Kim Yu-Na (and she represented in a BIG WAY), so you need to buck up and deliver.

Look John, we're taught at a very early age to be non-confrontational and not impose ourselves onto others. You have to get that out of your system ASAP! This is what's holding you back from showing real presence. That stage is eating you up -- and it's not even the Kodak Theatre stage! You have to take control, be bigger than life, command the room -- in essence, you have to impose yourself! Confront the audience! Seduce them with your star power! You're too locked up in your shy, humble Asian shell. And I see you analyzing every lyric you're singing as you're singing it. Stop over-thinking the song, and start feeling it. Stop being my emotionally buttoned-up Asian father and start gushing like your heart is bleeding!

I'm rooting for you John Park. I really am. But I'm cringing every time you take the stage because I know for most people, when they think of American Idol and Asians, the first and only thing that comes to their minds is that silly Asian dude who embarrassingly "sang" SHE BANGS (who remembers Jasmine Trias?). We need you to redeem us, John Park. We're not just a bunch of drunk karaoke singers. We need you to repaint our image on AMERICAN IDOL. If you don't, we will all revert back to one face. The face of William Hung.

Good luck.

Mike Le is a writer/producer living in Los Angeles. He is also the creator of the webcomic DON'T FORGET TO VALIDATE YOUR PARKING.

Wow...the past few weeks have been crazy! Here is our schedule lately, so the boys can see what they did when they were 2 and 4...

MONDAY
8:30-1:00 School at home
4:30-5:30 Sibling class at My Gym

TUESDAY
8:30-1:00 School at home
4:30-5:30 Open Gym at My Gym

WEDNESDAY
8:30-1:00 School at home
2:00-2:30 Tyler's piano lesson
3:15-4:15 Tyler's sports class

THURSDAY
8:30-1:00 School at home
4:00-4:45 Tyler and Chase's Spanish class

FRIDAY
9:15-12:15 Moms group at Newsong
1:00-3:00 Visits with cousins Katie and Sara or Pretend City
4:00-5:00 Tyler's skating class

SATURDAY
9:30-12:30 Tyler's Korean School
10:15-11:15 Chase's class at My Gym

SUNDAY
10:30-11:30 Church
12:00 Have to make myself go to Disneyland on Sundays, if I have the energy!

This has been our schedule the last two weeks. I'm trying to squeeze in as much as I can before Tyler goes to kindergarten and has to concentrate on school stuff. Hopefully, Tyler will start soccer and Boys Scout once school starts. Not looking forward to soccer one bit but it's been a dream of mine to see my boys in boy scouts!

In between classes, we go to the market, clean up the house, make dinner, do HW with Tyler, etc. At night, after they go to sleep, I watch Oprah, American Idol, and Desperate Housewives of OC, and get ready for school the next day.

It's fun and I love being a mommy! It's so much fun to watch them grow up! :)

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Random thoughts...

1. A neighbor came over to visit my school and when she was leaving, she had a few things to say about our front lawn. She said, "You need to get your front lawn done. This is the first thing perspective parents see when they walk up to your school and it's not a good impression." Talk about honesty! If parents don't send their children to me because of my front lawn, I don't want them at my school to begin with! Haha, it's not like the kids are frolicking out front!

Ok, so it's totally full of weeds and it's crawling up the sidewalk, but I NEVER thought that it was so bad that someone would bring it up to me! Then, it made me think of things that I might otherwise never think twice about that other people might take notice and think badly of me.

The first thing I thought was how long I let the boys' hairs get. I mean, when it's covering up half their ear, that's pretty bad, but I don't care! They're young! But, I started thinking that some people might take offense.

Here's another one- my boys have some shirts and pants that have holes in them. One day they thought it would be fun to use their scissors and cut small holes in their clothes! It's so wasteful to throw those clothes away so I still put them on them! I was thinking that someone is going to see the holes and think really negatively about me!

2. Yesterday, I got mad at Jason. Let me tell you why. My boys have totally stopped taking their naps during the day. That means that I am watching them from 6:30-7:30 every day, and some days are not picnics in the park. And, I don't ask much from Jason AT ALL. But yesterday, I asked him to put the boys to bed. So easy to do since they are already washed up and in their pjs (by me!). All he needs to do is brush their teeth and plop them in bed. But, get this. Whenever, he puts them to bed, he doesn't brush Chase's teeth! It's the oddest, strangest thing ever to me. He says that he doesn't know how? WTFrick?! Don't know how to brush a kid's teeeth? It ain't rocket science....you dang surgeon. I mean, whenever he does this, I totally think that he does it on purpose because it's like him saying to me, "You don't like the way I do it, then you do it." And that got me SOOO mad last night and I let him know it. I'm proud to say that banged around the kitchen while he watched his precious ESPN like I've never banged before.

Ok, gotta fun, kids will be here any minute! Bye!