Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I was online and saw this letter written to American Idol, John Park. It cracked me up so I thought I would share. I agree with what the writer is saying....totally. I was thinking the same thing, and I get it. I don't know why I am rooting for this guy so much. Maybe cause he is the first Asian that I've seen on tv in a long time who doesn't make Asians look silly and stupid.

Dear John Park,

I get it. I really do. I'm Asian-American just like you and I know what you're going through. But if you want to remain on AMERICAN IDOL you're going to have to do something very drastic. Here's my advice to you, and I'm going to get a lot of shit for saying this, but you have to be LESS ASIAN! That's right, less Asian. And I don't mean have less pride in your heritage or deny who you really are or get eye surgery like most Asian celebrities do in an attempt to break into the American market. I mean, it's time to step out of yourself.

Judging from your last two televised performances, I can tell you're approaching this AMERICAN IDOL experience like you're studying for a final exam. It's a very Asian thing to do. I get it. It's our default function. But you have to stop doing that, because you're coming off very cerebral and cold, and like the judges keep telling you, you're not connecting to the song or the audience. This is singing, not advanced trig. You have to let go of the Asian studios nature and completely give yourself to the creative process. I know, I know...culturally speaking, Asian children are generally not encouraged to pursue a life in the arts, so somewhere behind closed doors, even though your parents are sitting front row every week on IDOL to show support, they're really thinking in the back of their minds, "If this doesn't work out, it's time to get a real job." And you're probably thinking the same thing too because you don't want to disappoint them or embarrass them in front of their peers. You're probably feeling the weight of the world right now, being the only person on IDOL representing Asians this season. But whatever you're going through is nothing compared to the pressures of Kim Yu-Na (and she represented in a BIG WAY), so you need to buck up and deliver.

Look John, we're taught at a very early age to be non-confrontational and not impose ourselves onto others. You have to get that out of your system ASAP! This is what's holding you back from showing real presence. That stage is eating you up -- and it's not even the Kodak Theatre stage! You have to take control, be bigger than life, command the room -- in essence, you have to impose yourself! Confront the audience! Seduce them with your star power! You're too locked up in your shy, humble Asian shell. And I see you analyzing every lyric you're singing as you're singing it. Stop over-thinking the song, and start feeling it. Stop being my emotionally buttoned-up Asian father and start gushing like your heart is bleeding!

I'm rooting for you John Park. I really am. But I'm cringing every time you take the stage because I know for most people, when they think of American Idol and Asians, the first and only thing that comes to their minds is that silly Asian dude who embarrassingly "sang" SHE BANGS (who remembers Jasmine Trias?). We need you to redeem us, John Park. We're not just a bunch of drunk karaoke singers. We need you to repaint our image on AMERICAN IDOL. If you don't, we will all revert back to one face. The face of William Hung.

Good luck.

Mike Le is a writer/producer living in Los Angeles. He is also the creator of the webcomic DON'T FORGET TO VALIDATE YOUR PARKING.


Anonymous susan said...

as expected, our korean brotha got the boot. oh well.

5:09 PM  
Anonymous susan said...

as expected, our korean brotha got the boot. oh well.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Christine said...

haha. that is hilarious, but true indeed. i get it too!

10:41 PM  

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