dedicated to claud....yup, very ghetto but chill and mellow indeed. love that you know me so well.

so sad but i think i'm pretty much done with this blog! boo-hoo. i will cry about it later.

i just don't have anything interesting to write in here anymore. (but...did i ever?! haha)

my new thing is instagram and i love seeing everyone's pictures on that.

so good bye, my peeps! it's been a fun 10 years!

think i will sign off with one last story:

i felt like i should be a good mommy one day. so i turned to chase, who happened to be the closest child to me, and i said, "chase. you know, you can be anything you want to be. you can follow all your dreams." he said, "no mommy. i don't want to." i asked him why and he said, "well, some of my dreams are nightmares and i don't really want to follow those." :)

love kids. love my boys. love being a mommy.

sometimes, i have times of major guilt. i wish i could be a better mom. wish i could do more with my time and give my boys a perfect life.

but there is no such thing as a perfect life, right, boys? everyone, i mean, everyone will live this roller coaster of highs and lows, and hope that they have more highs than lows.

so, one last note for my boys. well, you know this already, but you are the best things that have ever happened to me. i love you more than than anything in this world.

:) smile and know that you are loved.

i like this song. like the beat. the lyrics are cute too. not that i think the lyrics speak about me in any way! i can be honest with myself when i say that i am not miss independent! i always want people to help me with everything! i'm like, i can't do it. i don't know how to do it. you do it. you help me. you do it with me. etc... so i like this song but this song does not describe me one bit! :)

i haven't written in here in sooo long! don't know what happened! i was really happy about hitting the 10 year mark on this blog and then in went....(enter sound of a collapsing balloon).

nothing much going on. big news is that i had clown-orange hair for awhile, but i finally got my hair redone today and it looks fine. thank god. i looked "ghetto, hood rat" for two days. i would have cried but it was so comical in a way that all i could do was laugh. that's what i get for walking into any ol' salon (without even looking at yelp) and just hoping for the best. live and learn. live and learn!

trying to run more, at least three times a week. that has been about two weeks now. i love, love, love running when i really get into it. also, we were looking up and down for a new car for weeks now. we currently have a SUV that seats 5 but i need something bigger that will seat 7 at least for when we have visitors and take friends around and stuff. anyways, we almost got a toyota sienna a couple of weekends ago but that didn't pan out. now we are thinking of getting a toyota sequoia. seat 7 and it's a huge vehicle. that might happen in a few weeks or so...so i'm excited about getting a new car, even if it's only a sequoia! :)

i guess that's it for now... there is nothing to write in here! such a boring life, i tell ya!

i think this is just the cutest thing ever. it made me smile. it made my tear upwhen she said, "don't worry, dad." kids are just too cute.

thinking of getting a minivan. i go back and forth. it would make life sooooo easy, and the boys have so much crap and are practically in and out of the car all the long, but i don't know...it's a minivan for cryin' out loud!! don't know what to do!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!! am i ready for a MINIVAN?!

my right eye is blood shot. it looks really hot. haha... it looks like i'm a druggie. not a good look while toting around with two kids. i remember rubbing my eye on saturday when we were in the park because it felt like something was in it. hope it goes away soon!

why is kali howling like a wolf right now? it's scaring me!

happy thursday, peeps!

random thoughts:

1. DUDE!!! i just spent like an hour coloring my hair (trying to lighten it for the summer) and it looks EXACTLY like it did before i put hair ruining gunk in my hair for about thirty minutes! that's what i get for trying to save money and doing it at home. now my hair is fried, the color is the same, and i've wasted an hour of my life. why, oh why, am i so cheap! i should just go somewhere and get it done! haha

2. ok, so i call myself cheap once in awhile and i have to clarify that. i think i'm pretty cheap, overall. i mean, i don't need a lot of gadgets and gizmos to keep me happy, and ever since i had kids, i don't like, and have a hard time, spending a lot of money on myself. i don't mind wearing something from target if i find something i like there, and i think i'm a pretty simple person (overall, speaking. :P) however, this doesn't mean that i am cheap with other people. i think i'm rather giving actually, and i like giving to others..especially if they aren't expecting something. i don't know. i like to say that i am cheap but when i say that, i am mostly speaking in terms of what i give myself. i actually can't really stand overly cheap people. you know, the type that regifts presents and never pays for lunch and things like that. in college, i knew someone who would NEVER offer to drive his car to go anywhere but would always hitch a ride with other people. it was a ongoing joke amongst friends that he was too cheap to ever offer to use his car. anyways, that kind of cheapness is sooo unattractive. ewww...

3. tyler got in trouble by me this morning and i have been feeling really horrible about it all day. this morning, we were rushing (like ALWAYS) to get to school on time, and i found him playing with his ipod when his backpack wasn't even ready to go out the door. i became irate and told him i expected more maturity and self control from a boy who is about to turn 8. ouch. i know. i need to give him a hug when i pick him up from school. tyler is a GREAT kid. i mean, i know that EVERYONE and THEIR MOTHER thinks there kid great, but overall, i'm saying tyler is a GOOD KID, and sometimes, i think i expect A LOT from him (behavior wise). i don't know what it is. it might be because he is the first kid and he is usually so good, that when he messes up or does something bad, i'm totally shocked, disappointed, and angry. let's say you had a kid who was always bad, then why get upset right? but with tyler, he is usually good that when he acts like an, ahem.... a kid, i am shocked. anyways, i feel horrible thinking that he might have gone to school in a sad mood and hope he was ok. horrible mommy of the year award goes to....me. :(

is it thursday already? where does the time go?!!

TobyMac - Steal My Show (Official Lyric Video) from tobymac on GodTube.

heard this on the radio today. it reminded me of backstreet boys and 98 degrees...groups i loved in college. :)

the parent rap. so funny. so true. this is my life! :)

hello hello.

where does the time go? haha... jason's been gone for awhile (in the phillipines on a medical trip) and with the task of cooking not looming over my head every day (because i honestly think i cook "real" meals mostly just for him), i thought my days would be me just chillin at home with a book. strangely enough, it has been the complete opposite- even more hectic than when jason is around. i took this time to clean up, organize, donate, and of course, as you mommies know....it never gets ALL done and you're back to square one right when you think you are at the finish line.

kali is totally potty trained. i am amazed because, to me, that was half the battle. when we are at home, she is free to roam around all of downstairs and when we are gone, she is confined to a pen. it sounds worse than it is. she is so tiny that i imagine that the pen is huge to her. :) she doesn't really shed. she doesn't really bark a lot. she is as cute as a button (are buttons cute?). she is small so i'm not really scared of her (though i am a little still). she is the ideal dog for me for these reasons. she does bring about some stress in my life though. it's another living thing that i am taking care of and i worry that something will happen to her and it will be my fault (like she will choke on something she is chewing on, for example). hopefully some of these fears will dissipate as she gets older and i'm more confident in what i am doing as a dog owner.

i miss jason, mostly at night, when the boys have gone to bed and it is so quiet and scary. i kept the hallway light on every night he was gone. during the day, i can honestly say that i have very little thinking space to even miss jason. it's rush, rush, run around, get here, get uniforms on, pack a snack, eat a snack, rush, rush, run, run. i feel like my vida loca sometimes. not in a crazy wild fun way, but in a why-do-i-do-this-to-myself sort of way.

tyler played in the most exciting basketball game last night. it was neck to neck with this one team and it got so exciting! the parents were screaming like our kids' lives depended on it. with 4 seconds left, the other team scored and won the game! poor tyler! poor team! he was so disappointed. anyways, seeing your child play a game is a million times more exciting to watch than ANY professional game in the world.

i'm suppose to plan something for us to do during the boys' spring break. jason wants to go somewhere but i am totally opposed to it. i hate planning trips, i hate going on trips, i hate spending money on trips, etc. of course, i don't tell the boys this. i keep this to myself, but i am such a homebody. i just like being at home! the last time jason and i talked about spring break, i told him that we should just stay home and have the boys enjoy the pool, but i checked the weather online right now and it will be freezing as heck so i guess we are going somewhere. where?! wah?!!!! i don't want to go anywhere that i think will be super crowded (disneyworld out), too "adult" oriented (vegas out), too educational (DC out...we will go there when they are older and can understand!). where to? don't have a clue. the ONE place that i wish i had planned earlier was a disney cruise for that week. that would have been perfect, but of course, that is all booked now. i am going to book next year spring break on a disney cruise as soon as i am able to book it. susan once told me that she thinks cruises would be perfect for someone like me (who has travelphobia) and i have to agree.

10 years of writing in this blog! i should win an award or something! who reads this thing? not many people! for those who do, i thank you! ;)

i am loving instagram way more than facebook. actually, facebook is getting annoying. can't pinpoint why, but i think it has to do with privacy settings and things like that. it annoys me for some reason. i have always been a "picture person." i love pictures! i could look at pictures over and over again. i even enjoy looking at pictures of strangers. don't judge me. i just like pictures. every time i used to visit jason's grandmother's house, i would bring out her album or old black and white pictures and go through them. i looked at them so much, his grandmother told me that she would leave the album with me once she passed on because i was the only person to show any interest in her pictures!

one reason that i love instagram is that i follow these "foodie health" type people and i LOVE seeing all the healthy foods that they eat/make during the day. it is not only inspiring, but i LOVE getting ideas for things to make in the kitchen.

speaking of health, i have been a on a health "kick" for the last month. tyler goes, "oh mom, are you being 'healthy' again." i know i go through many phases, but this is not a phase. nope, for some reason, i am really disgusted by eating crap. i am disgusted if my boys eat crap. only natural organic veggies, fruits, lean meats, and whole grains for this family! i feel better, i feel like my skin looks better, i feel like my insides are probably thanking me, and my boys will thank me later too. :) i've cut out all processed foods, dairy, soda, high sugar, high fat foods. i was never a totally "bad" eater, but i would occasionally eat "bad" stuff out of convenience. there is a healthy substitute for every "bad" thing i would ever want to eat. i won't beat myself up for going out to eat or having white rice once in awhile (dude, need to have some sushi once in awhile!) but on the whole, this is the new me from here on out! yay! here's to our health! :)

ok. gotta run. someone asked me to write a letter of rec for them and i promise i would get it to them by the end of today! go, cut and paste time! :)

happy tuesday, folks! be happy and be healthy!