Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

hello hello.

where does the time go? haha... jason's been gone for awhile (in the phillipines on a medical trip) and with the task of cooking not looming over my head every day (because i honestly think i cook "real" meals mostly just for him), i thought my days would be me just chillin at home with a book. strangely enough, it has been the complete opposite- even more hectic than when jason is around. i took this time to clean up, organize, donate, and of course, as you mommies never gets ALL done and you're back to square one right when you think you are at the finish line.

kali is totally potty trained. i am amazed because, to me, that was half the battle. when we are at home, she is free to roam around all of downstairs and when we are gone, she is confined to a pen. it sounds worse than it is. she is so tiny that i imagine that the pen is huge to her. :) she doesn't really shed. she doesn't really bark a lot. she is as cute as a button (are buttons cute?). she is small so i'm not really scared of her (though i am a little still). she is the ideal dog for me for these reasons. she does bring about some stress in my life though. it's another living thing that i am taking care of and i worry that something will happen to her and it will be my fault (like she will choke on something she is chewing on, for example). hopefully some of these fears will dissipate as she gets older and i'm more confident in what i am doing as a dog owner.

i miss jason, mostly at night, when the boys have gone to bed and it is so quiet and scary. i kept the hallway light on every night he was gone. during the day, i can honestly say that i have very little thinking space to even miss jason. it's rush, rush, run around, get here, get uniforms on, pack a snack, eat a snack, rush, rush, run, run. i feel like my vida loca sometimes. not in a crazy wild fun way, but in a why-do-i-do-this-to-myself sort of way.

tyler played in the most exciting basketball game last night. it was neck to neck with this one team and it got so exciting! the parents were screaming like our kids' lives depended on it. with 4 seconds left, the other team scored and won the game! poor tyler! poor team! he was so disappointed. anyways, seeing your child play a game is a million times more exciting to watch than ANY professional game in the world.

i'm suppose to plan something for us to do during the boys' spring break. jason wants to go somewhere but i am totally opposed to it. i hate planning trips, i hate going on trips, i hate spending money on trips, etc. of course, i don't tell the boys this. i keep this to myself, but i am such a homebody. i just like being at home! the last time jason and i talked about spring break, i told him that we should just stay home and have the boys enjoy the pool, but i checked the weather online right now and it will be freezing as heck so i guess we are going somewhere. where?! wah?!!!! i don't want to go anywhere that i think will be super crowded (disneyworld out), too "adult" oriented (vegas out), too educational (DC out...we will go there when they are older and can understand!). where to? don't have a clue. the ONE place that i wish i had planned earlier was a disney cruise for that week. that would have been perfect, but of course, that is all booked now. i am going to book next year spring break on a disney cruise as soon as i am able to book it. susan once told me that she thinks cruises would be perfect for someone like me (who has travelphobia) and i have to agree.

10 years of writing in this blog! i should win an award or something! who reads this thing? not many people! for those who do, i thank you! ;)

i am loving instagram way more than facebook. actually, facebook is getting annoying. can't pinpoint why, but i think it has to do with privacy settings and things like that. it annoys me for some reason. i have always been a "picture person." i love pictures! i could look at pictures over and over again. i even enjoy looking at pictures of strangers. don't judge me. i just like pictures. every time i used to visit jason's grandmother's house, i would bring out her album or old black and white pictures and go through them. i looked at them so much, his grandmother told me that she would leave the album with me once she passed on because i was the only person to show any interest in her pictures!

one reason that i love instagram is that i follow these "foodie health" type people and i LOVE seeing all the healthy foods that they eat/make during the day. it is not only inspiring, but i LOVE getting ideas for things to make in the kitchen.

speaking of health, i have been a on a health "kick" for the last month. tyler goes, "oh mom, are you being 'healthy' again." i know i go through many phases, but this is not a phase. nope, for some reason, i am really disgusted by eating crap. i am disgusted if my boys eat crap. only natural organic veggies, fruits, lean meats, and whole grains for this family! i feel better, i feel like my skin looks better, i feel like my insides are probably thanking me, and my boys will thank me later too. :) i've cut out all processed foods, dairy, soda, high sugar, high fat foods. i was never a totally "bad" eater, but i would occasionally eat "bad" stuff out of convenience. there is a healthy substitute for every "bad" thing i would ever want to eat. i won't beat myself up for going out to eat or having white rice once in awhile (dude, need to have some sushi once in awhile!) but on the whole, this is the new me from here on out! yay! here's to our health! :)

ok. gotta run. someone asked me to write a letter of rec for them and i promise i would get it to them by the end of today! go, cut and paste time! :)

happy tuesday, folks! be happy and be healthy!

Monday, February 04, 2013

random thoughts:

1. two more days and the backyard should be done (side note: just looked out the upstairs window to see how things were going to see the main landscaper picking for gold up his nose and dropping his findings on my new grass....gross!) anyways, i will be happy when it is all done and i don't feel so self conscious in my house. don't ask me why i feel self conscious in my house while they are outside. i have no idea. i don't even think they can see inside the house at all. i don't know! i just do! regardless, i will be happy that i don't have people around the house making all this noise, that the boys have a backyard (finally!) and i can scratch one more big thing off my to do list!

2. i have a crazy obsession. i think i need to be on that show "my crazy obsession." is that what that show was called? it had people on it who ate toilet paper, drank urine, picked up dead animals off the sides of roads, etc. anyways, my crazy obsession is that i like to cut kali's hair! like, all the time! it is bordering on obsession. i look at her and look for hair that is uneven, and of course, all her hair looks uneven...she is a dog! and i just take her to my bathroom and pick her up in the air with my left hand and go to work with my scissors. she is so good. she doesn't fight back or anything, and in my mind, i think "you're going to be the prettiest little bitch on this street." she just goes completely limp in my hands and lets me work my magic. well, i wouldn't really call it magic since she looks like a rat now....but i can't stop myself. it is sooooo therapeutic and soothing! just going snip, snip, snip for hours. maybe i should have been a hair stylist....didn't know it was my calling until i got kali! anyone's dog in need of some grooming? it has to be less than 5 pounds though. i dont think i could hold anything heavier  than that up in the air. :)

3. i had a life changing epiphany last week. REALLY. dont' laugh. i swear it. LIFE CHANGING, i tell you.

ok, so here goes. i'll try to explain myself but how do you explain something that is so LIFE CHANGING when you are such a bad writer and can't find the words to explain yourself with your limited english? hmmm...i shall try.

ok, so last week, i TOTALLY broke out. like, on my face. like i'm still in high school type break out. like i'm embarrassed to go out break out.

and i couldn't believe it at first because this was the week i was suppose to have clear skin.

you see, i have one week in the month where i always tolerate bad skin (just dull skin, larger pores, possibly some break outs) because i've just always thought that this was part of me being a girl, me having monthly hormones that go up and down like a crazy roller coaster. i just dealt with bad skin for about a week out of the month.

and then, you see, this amazing thing happens or is suppose to happen. after i get a visit for "aunt flow," it all clears up, and my skin gets a little better magically.

and all these years, i just thought this was how it was suppose to be. bad skin for about two weeks before the "flow" and then two weeks of decent skin afterwards. and i thought this was all about hormones.

but, last week, when i totally broke out, it was suppose to be my "good skin week" so i was completely baffled. BAFFLED!

and it got me thinking about what i had eaten the previous days. here goes:

- breakfast: cereal with milk, caffeinated coffee
- snack: chocolates
- lunch: lean cuisine with a 7-up
- snack: cold sugar filled starbucks drink
- dinner: cupcake

and then my life changing epiphany: THE SHIT I EAT GIVES ME MY CRAPPY ASS SKIN!!!!!

look at all my vices: caffeine, milk, high processed foods, sugary drinks, a cupcake?!!!!

it's crazy that i've never thought about this before. never. not that the food i eat is responsible for my occasional break outs! but now, i'm totally convinced that my days of eating shit gave me shitty skin. (especially because it didn't happen when i could blame my hormones)

i've always thought that this was a myth. isn't that what they tell you? that it is a MYTH that eating certain foods give you acne? i never connected the two...NEVER!

i knew that sleeping and water affects my body...but food? i never thought about it.

if i ever thought about food, it was more about calories so i wouldn't gain weight. hence, i was in the mood for a cupcake (about 350 calories i think) and i decided to have that and forgo my real dinner.

and if i ever thought about my skin, i always thought it was the outside of my skin that i had to take care of (like lotions and potions and stuff ON my face)

but i NEVER thought about the quality of food or vitamins or anything like that and how that affects my body (and manifest on my skin!) i mean, of course, i occasionally thought about it but never REALLY thought about it. (i told you this was going to be hard to explain with my limited english! haha)

anyways, this is the new me:
1. will take daily vitamins
2. will only drink water
3. will eat CLEAN- mostly fruits, veggies, and lean proteins
4. will not drink milk or eat dairy products...for some reason, i think this is the main culprit
5. no more crazy refined carbs, whole grain only. no more white rice if i can help it.
6. no more highly processed foods (even if i think it is low in calories! lean cuisines...omg! that is just gross!)

this will be a life change. of course, there will be times when i have some "naughty" foods, but mostly i'm going to try  my very best to keep my sugar levels pretty stable and not let it spike life crazy by eating crabs and sugary treats all the time.

i am college educated and i can't believe it took me this long to come to this realization. better late than never i guess.

if eating nasty foods could cause me to have bad skin, i can only imagine what it does to the inside of my body.

clean eating all the way. can i get an amen?! this is the new me! :)

ok, gotta go. i'm getting hungry and i need to juice up my lunch! :)