Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Nothing's happening! I'm still look and feel like I've swallowed a basketball! The house is clean, the bag is packed, everything is ready. Now if he would just come already! I'm 38 weeks today so I technically have any where from now until four more weeks for Tyler to make his entrance, but the doctor seemed so confidant that it would happen by tomorrow. I'll let you know when I'm going into the hospital!

Saturday, February 26, 2005

One thing I can't wait to do once Tyler is here is go eat sushi!! I can't believe that I survived the last nine months on California Rolls alone. I will have Jason take me to the best Japanese restaurant in Portland as soon as Tyler is born. I get excited just thinking about it!! Everyone knows how much I love sushi!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

I want Tyler to come but at the same time, I want him to stay put! I won't be ready for him to enter this world until our place in immaculate and and our car is spotless. Jason is getting anxious and spent the morning coaching Tyler, in utero, on how to break the bag of water. He told Tyler to "scratch or poke it, " while showing him how to do it. It was actually quite funny!

The doctor told me that she wouldn't be surprised if I went into labor sometime before Tuesday! Of course, she couldn't say with 100% certainty, but that was her prediction. I've been having contractions lately. Not too painful. They feel like cramps and my tummy gets really hard, like a basketball. But I don't think I'm quite in labor yet because people say that you will KNOW when it is true labor, so I guess I'm not.

I've got my hospital bag all packed with: lip balm, slppers, hard candy, hot pack, aromatherapy, massage ball, straws, Gatorade, water, baby book (for his hand and footprint) and much more! I even bought Popsicles to take to the hospital with me! It's suppose to help to eat them right before the pushing part. I think I went a little overboard with the packing but I rather be safe than sorry...I have no idea what to expect!

More updates to come!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

I think I'm having some signs that labor might be imminent (!), but there's no telling exactly when I will actually go into true labor. So far, it's been a bunch of Braxton Hicks contractions, which come sporadically and don't get worse in severity as time goes on. Yesterday, I even called Labor and Delivery because I had some really bad cramping, and the nurse told me that I could go any day now OR it could still be weeks. Not much help, huh? I wish someone could just tell me the exact date! This guessing, wondering, and hoping isn't good for my psyche.

Yesterday, I watched a part of Bachelorette: Men Tell All and I had a thought. I think Jen Schefft has no tact, is cruel, and mean spirited. I don't know why I ever thought she was remotely cute or nice because she is definitely neither. When Andrew Firestone come on the show last night, it just dawned on me of what she is putting her ex-fiance through. I mean, come on, she came on the show once before, got ENGAGED and professed her love. Ok, so things didn't work out. Heck, that happens. But that should have been the end of it. I mean, if you loved a person enough to accept a freakin' proposal, how could you hurt that person by doing the freakin' BACHLORETTE? It's so tasteless and in your face and just plain cruel! (Trista is a different story because she got dumped by the first Bachelor.) Is it just me?! To me, Jen is a little witch to just think about herself. Whatever the reason- to find fame, to continue her fifteen minutes in the spotlight, to continue her quest to find true love. Whatever angle I look at, I just think she's wrong.

Did I tell you how ecstatic I am that we are going back to LA? I can't wait! We'll be moving either in June or July. I'm going to try my hardest to move down sometime in June to see my first class of second graders graduate from elementary school. I can't wait to see all my past students. Hopefully, we can plan a party or something so everyone will be able to see Tyler for the first time. Maybe his 100 day celebration? Hmmmm...just a thought!

Saturday, February 19, 2005

It's final....We'll be in LA next year!! Yay!! We couldn't be happier that things worked out for the best. I can't wait to go home!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

I have big bladder envy. So if you have a normal size bladder, I envy you. I woke up every hour last night to use the bathroom. Sorry if tmi, but girls, just giving you a heads up on what to expect when this "Miracle of Life" happens to you. Someone told me that God has a plan for everything and the reason why he planned for women to get up so many times to go to the bathroom in the third trimester is to train her for all the nightly feedings once the baby is born. Yay. I told my mom that I am really tired lately and her reply was, "Oh, this is nothing. It's much worse once the baby is born." Yay, so much for encouraging words.

I've been doing some reading on births around the world and have learned a great deal about childbirth here in the US compared to other places. Here are some anecdotes about birth that I find intesting:

Netsilik Eskimo Birth
"She brings her child into the world while on her knees and alone, without help. If it is winter, she allows the child to glide down into a small hollow in the snow on the platform itself. No skin lining is placed in the hollow for the child, which falls straight into the snow."

A Kung Birth
"A Kung mother takes great pride in self- sufficiency in birth. As soon as her contractions become strong, the mother goes out in the veld. She collects soft grass and piles it into a mound to make a soft landing for her baby. When pushing, she squats over that mound. During the first labor, her mother and other older women assist her. If the first birth goes well, she will give birth to subsequent babies alone. If labor begins at night, she will not wake her sleeping husband as she slips out the door and goes to the veld. Kung mothers have a keen sense of competence and independence. In the morning, the Kung mother, glowing with pride, returns home with her newly born child."

Interesting, no? It's been really eye opening to read about births in other countries and how "natural" childbirth seems to be there compared to the US, where hospitals, drugs, and machines are commonplace.

Oh, Happy belated Valentine's to everyone! Jason and I did nothing out of the ordinary. We just told each other that our gift to each other would come next month, crying, pooing, and spitting, but will be the ultimate gift indeed.

Monday, February 14, 2005

I cried yesterday. For a little bit. For a stupid reason. I cried because I am sick and tired of eating...really, really sick of it. It's not the actual part of eating (well, maybe a little) but just being CAPTIVE to my hunger all the time is driving me up the wall. I hate cooking, I hate thinking about what to eat, I don't want to eat, but my empty stomach and guilt of knowing that I HAVE to eat makes me. Does that make any sense? Since my stomach feels like it's empty all the freakin' time, I am constantly thinking about food and it really got on my nerves last night. Oh, and when I eat, the GUILT of eating something unhealthy and thinking that I have to eat something good all the time has to end soon too. I hate thinking, "Is there any nutritional value in that?" which will help my baby grow and thrive? Because usually the answer is that there isn't and that is when I want my mom here to cook me some good Korean food and I whine with self pity. Just yesterday, it was with tears.

4 more weeks...

Friday, February 11, 2005

My aunt called me yesterday to tell me that I should be looking out for a package containing clothes and blankets for Tyler...more clothes! My little dumpling already has enough clothes to dress a hospital nursery for a year! I think I went a little crazy shopping for Tyler, as far a clothes are concerned. I just can't help it! Everything is too cute. I keep telling myself that all the stuff will last more than one child and that I should take advantage of Portland's no sales tax. But I should really stop and save some money now.

Jason took the car to work today, so I am trapped at home today! Yay, more Maury! I live next to this pretty cool street and I should totally go for a walk. The weather is surprisingly nice today, too!

I finally decided on the stroller and infant car seat that I want. After much- and I mean much- deliberation, I've finally decided and it feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders. You'll see how hard it is to decide on certain items when you are shopping for your child. There are so many options and you just want the best.

Well, I know I'm not working, but I'm thrilled that it's Friday. That means Jason will be home Saturday and Sunday! Yeah!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

The line "Who's your daddy?" reminds me of Allen, though I don't ever recall a specific time when he said it. That, and also the butt slapping dance move. Now that I have seen him do many a times.

Last night as I sat making a "To do" list, Jason asked me what I was doing and when I told him, he said, "What's so hard about writing #1 Nothing. #2 Nothing. #3, oh what do you know...Nothing!" haha, real funny. I don't do nothing!! Dude, yesterday, I did the laundry and it took me like gazillon trips up and down the elevator because I didn't want to break my back or my water to lug 100 pounds in one trip. I had to remind my dear husband that I don't sit around and eat Bons Bons all day... just Ben & Jerry's Chucky Monkey.

A little confession of sorts: When I first took a home pregnancy test, I was confused because I was suppose to see a dark pink line (like the one on the box) if I was pregnant and no line if I wasn't. Well, a very very faint line came up and I wasn't sure what that meant! So, what did I do? I called the EPT toll free line! The lady who answered told me to put the pee stick on a waist high table or counter and stand above it and asked if I could still see the line. With her still on the line, I did just that. I could still see the very faint line! And so this operator was the very first person to say to me, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" haha. Jason couldn't believe that I actually called, but hey, I just HAD to know!

Yesterday, I received a baby present from someone I met ONE time! The person that I subbed for. We had met in September once to go over the class, what was expected, what I should cover with the class, etc. When I got the package in the mall, I was so shocked! She must have gotten my address from the office. Wow..that was really sweet of her for remembering I was pregant and going out and getting Tyler something! Some people are too thoughtful!

I'm craving chocolate pudding and there is a lady bug nest in our apartment somewhere. I must quench my craving and find the nest, in that order. Then go back to sleep.

Have a good Thursday! Apprentice Night!

Oh, that reminds me! Why did Fox have to change the airing time for American Idol? Who stays up that late?! Is it just me?...10:00 is way past my bedtime! I missed it last night! Jen, Weiker, if we go back to LA, you guys have to help us hook up the TIVO...we are a bunch of idiots!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Now that I'm not working, most of my hours are spent wondering if we bought the best stroller and infant car seat or if we should return it for something lighter but with less features. Or, like Jen, staring at the wall. Or watching ever so exciting paternity tests on Maury. ("Who's the daddy?")

Yesterday, I was over ambitious and ventured out into the world with my huge belly.

First, I went to the mall, where I met a super gay guy at Bath and Body Works who wanted to buy me lavender essence oil for my labor room. Like Susan always says, I attract all the weirdos. I told him it was quite alright and then he went into a long diatribe of different oils and how they have different effects on him. Imagine a huge black guy holding onto a tiny 1 ounce bottle of ginger essence oil to his chest and saying, "This one makes me feel sensual." As I was leaving he asked when my due date was. After I told him, he squealed, "Oh, if you give birth three days before, your son and I will share birthdays!" Oh God, please no...

Then to Target, where a employee walked by and said in a startled voice, "Oh my!" as she stared at my burgeoning belly. Is it that bad? Am I that big? What was the "Oh my!" for? Thanks lady. Oh, and I ended up purchasing two toys for Tyler that I know are way to advanced for him developmentally at this time (I'm sure you'll agree since he's not even born yet!), but I just couldn't resist.

Then off to Toys R Us to buy Jason's nephew's birthday gift, a $25 dollar gift card so HE could pick out his own gift. I bought him a couple of books in the past for other occasions and Jason told me that I am becoming the aunt who gives horrible gifts! Man, what kid doesn't enjoy Cat in the Hat and Oh, The Places You Will Go! I should have taken the hint when Ethan once said to me, "I'm bored. I don't want to read anymore" and ran away from me as I tried to chase him down with Hungry Catepiller. But, "Aunt Who Gives Horrible Gifts" will not be a label that I shall be given! It is time I change my ways!

Then off to the market with intentions of making dinner. However, by the time I got home, I was completely exhausted and Jason and I ended up picking up two slices of pizza to enjoy while watching Idol.

I paid big time for my all day excursion at night because my back ached more than usual, my legs felt like they were on fire and even my hands felt sore! I think I will just stay in today and watch some more Maury. "Who's the daddy?!"

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Some people might think this is strange but I never use to think about money, especially in college. I am really not sure why, but when I needed it, it was always there. Not that I had A LOT, but I always had just enough to get by all the time, at the time. Money came from a couple of different sources: some from parents, some from loans, some from my work/study job.

And another weird thing is: when I was in college, I didn't even think about what kind of job I wanted after graduation or how much this job would pay me until I was a SENIOR! I just never thought about it. Looking back, I think this was completely idiotic, but at the time, that was me: going to my classes (some days), praying I would pass, just wanted to get my degree- any degree- and get the hell out of there.

I remember once in my sophomore year, after one of our classes, a girlfriend asked me what I wanted to do after college. At that time, I REALLY didn't have any clue and I told her so. Then she asked, "So you just want to marry rich?" I had never thought about it, had never been asked that question and I remember being taken aback. I answered, "If it happens." I mean, come on, who is going to say, "No, I would rather marry a poor man and struggle all my life." Like my answer stated, if it happened, it happened, if it didn't, it didn't. I'm sure in the deep, deep subconscious level of my mind, I might of thought that if I did fall in love with a rich man, it wouldn't hurt, but I never thought THOUGHT about it, like it was some GOAL of mine or anything.

Later that same year, a group of us were hanging out over dinner and someone asked me what I wanted to do after college. Again, I answered that I didn't know yet, that I was still sorting it out. Then the friend that I had had the previous conversation with said matter of factly, "Cristina just wants to marry rich." I replied, "I never said that." Even with my reply, I felt the damage had been done. I felt the others would now just see me as a gold digging knuckle head, in college to find a man who would "save me." I remember being so incredibly hurt and confused. When did I say that to her? She is the one that asked me (!) and I answered that if it happened, it wouldn't be worse than better.

If there is someone who would be willing to WASTE their ONE life to be someone because of their money and not because they love the other person whole-heartedly, I pity them and their soul.

Friday, February 04, 2005

The Newborn Basics class ended up being lame as hell. Can't believe I missed Idol for it.

Yesterday we got the ultrasound done and got to see our little angel again. Guess what?! Tyler looks exactly like Jason! I know that ultrasounds are blurry and you can never tell 100%, but I swear he has Jason's eyes and nose. When Jason saw him, he said, "That's my boy!" and I said, "Get ready for your Mini Me." During the ultrasound, he had his eyes open and stuck his tongue out. It's pretty crazy to see my baby's face!

Jason is in Vegas for a conference. It's just me and Tyler until Saturday. I think it is just too cute when Jason talks to Tyler. As he was leaving for the airport, he bent down to my tummy and said, "Tyler, keep mommy safe." Ahh, that melted my heart.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Jason and I are taking a "Newborn Basics" class at OHSU today. I signed up a couple of weeks ago and I got a letter last week telling us to bring a doll so we could practice diapering, swaddling, bathing, etc. I went out yesterday and bought a doll at Target to use during the class with plans to return it afterwards. When I went to pick Jason up, he saw the doll and assumed that I bought it for Tyler to play with since I hadn't told him that we needed it for the class and since I had been buying toys for Tyler in the last week. He was like, "Tyler is NOT going to play with that!" Of course, I wanted to play with him a little so I said, "Why not? It's only a doll! Little kids like to play with dolls, girls and BOYS." He replied, "You're going to return it because my SON will not play with DOLLS!" Of course, eventually, I had to tell him not to get his underwear up in a bunch and that the doll was for the class, but geez, never thought he would get so worked up over a doll!

I think I officially have gone over the recommended weight gain. The doctor told me yesterday that I should "walk thirty minutes a day." Ouch. Dang it, and I still have six more weeks left.

I complain a lot. But, my complaining is not always in vain. The last few times I went in to see my OBGYN, I complained of this stinging feeling over my right rib. (And, I complained even harder if Jason was in the room so he would know that I wasn't faking it at home.) Well, yesterday, in the mist of my complaining, the doctor announced that I would need to get another ultrasound to check out that area for "stones." (I am positive it can't be THAT bad. STONES! I don't think so. It's more like a bruise! muhaha.) I asked her if I could see my baby at the same time, and she replied that I would have to "sweet talk" the technician. And, of course, that won't be a problem! So... the moral of the story is this. I complain and get another ultrasound of the baby! Normally, I would only have gotten one but now I get two! Whee!! I am so happy. I always knew that complaining would bring good things my way!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I had Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup today and it took me back to a time when my dad would drop me and Claudia off at the ice skating ring on Saturdays. Without fail, he would give us a dollar bill each to get some Campbell's Chicken Noodle from a vending machine in the snack area. Claudia and I would skate for hours and, when we got hungry, we would each enjoy a cup.

I must have been seven or eight at the time.
We must have looked like a commercial for Campbell's savoring our meal.
When I look back and imagine us sitting there in a small booth, I can't believe all the things I've done with my best friend.