Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, August 27, 2012

This song just came on Pandora and it was so beautiful not to stop and share with whoever might end up on this page. To Tyler and Chase, if I could play the piano like Yiruma, I would play this song for you every night as your lullaby. This piece reminds me of how I feel when you hug me and give me your sloppy kisses- when time stands still and my heart skips at beat because I am reminded of how much I love you and how much I love being your mommy.

Ok, here is one more while I go down memory lane. Now that I think about it, I am pretty fortunate to have seen all these shows at such a young age. It's a quiet house. I'm doing the laundry and listening to my favorite songs from musicals while drinking coffee. Can't complain. :)

I have to share this one from Les Miserables too. This reminds me of Claud because she used to play it on the piano all the time when we were in high school. Beautiful.

I saw the trailer for Les Miserables this weekend and wanted to post this. This song always makes my heart tear up. It's filled with so much emotion. I hope I get to watch the musicals Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera with the boys one day. (I hope they will want to go with their old mommy! haha)

Friday, August 24, 2012

Random thoughts:

1. First week back at school. I thought I would be resting at home drinking martinis and catching up with the Kardashians while the boys were at school, but alas, that didn't happen. Mostly, I had a bunch of guys coming in and out of the house throughout the days to see that various things in our house were working properly (AC, garage light, sprinklers, redo chaulking, solar powering system, etc) Not my idea of fun, especially because they always seem to be younger than me and they come in saying, "Hello M'am" and making me feel like a granny. I feel like the next few weeks won't be any different from this week as we do other things around the house...oh fun! How would these things ever get done if Jason and I both worked? I have no idea how other households do it!

2. Also, I've been stressing out a lot about the boys' time in school, like I mentioned in a previous post. I am not 100% "sold" on their teachers yet and that is a scary feeling to have. In my book, teachers fall into these categories: 1. warm, sweet, funny but not academically strong. 2. stronger in the academics but cold to the students 3. don't give a shit about being warm or fuzzy or teaching 4. a mixture of loving on the kids but don't want to waste time and see every opportunity to teach and give children experiences. Obviously, if you get a teacher that falls into #3, you are better off letting your child stay home and watch Sesame Street all day. If you get a teacher that falls into #4, thank your lucky stars....these teachers are far and few between. We currently have Tyler and Chase enrolled in the private school that Tyler went to last year, and I will repeat again and again until my face is blue that it doesn't matter if a child goes to a public or a private school, the MAIN thing is THE TEACHER. Does she REALLY care that this is going to be a year of GROWTH and does she REALLY want to make a difference in the children's lives? That is what I am looking for, and so sad that I am not quite sure about Tyler's teacher yet. You're probably wondering why I didn't have this all figured out before enrolling Tyler into the same school again and isn't that what private schools are for....COMPLETE ACCESS to teachers and staff at ALL times? Well, yes, but the teacher I thought would be Tyler's 3rd grade teacher unexpectedly moved over the summer and I found out about this new teacher a couple of days before school started, and what was I suppose to do then? Urgh! Tis is life and must go with what life throws at you, but that doesn't mean I'm not annoyed! I'm not saying she is horrible, I'm just saying that I don't know enough about her and I haven't grilled her enough to feel 100% secure that we made the right decision. What makes it extra complicated in my book is that I knew her before she became Tyler's teacher (long story) and now I feel like it's too late for me to be the no nonsense, not-getting-too-friendly-with-the-teacher parent because it's a little too late for that. Crap. What to do. What to do. I told you I'm a spaz. Hence, the title of this blog.

3. But my spazticness has soooo diminish these last few years. NOTHING bugs me, really. The transformation from drama queen to Ms. Nothing Phases Me is quite startling, actually, even to myself!!! I think I'm pretty much the most flexible girl that I know (and I'm not talking about the flexible, like I can't do amazing Olympic gymnastics here). Nothing bothers me that isn't life or death or pertaining to how someone treats my boys. So basically, nothing gets my panties all in a bunch (Is that a weird idiom? I think so, but it's funny!). I think I've learned most of this from how Jason lives his life. He is the most content, stable person that I've ever met. Nothing wiles him up. He is calm, collected, thinks about his actions before he makes them and shuts up when he doesn't think his words will help a situation. Amazing, no? Well, thank goodness it wasn't too late for me to adopt some of his ways.  I'm actually very thankful that I've learned that life is not all about me and that my life does not revolved around what makes me happy...because wouldn't that be a miserable way to live a life? I also think having kids changes people because for the first time, you learn that it's not all about YOU...actually you learn that other people-your kids -will always come before yourself and that should change you. Damn, I feel so wise and old as I write this! haha... Anyways, you will never see me upset over a dented car or a changed schedule or Jason forgetting to pick something up from the store. (All things that would have tipped me over the edge back in the day.) Nope. People lose their loved ones, people lose their kids, people are sick and live in poverty all over this world. That OTHER stuff....that is nothing at all to get upset over.

I feel like I'm preaching here. Sorry if I come across that way. I just write about my life and this is how I feel at this time in my life!

Plus, I don't think anyone is reading this blog anymore!!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

A friend sent this to me the other night. I think all moms can relate to this. Well, I can so I thought I would share. I don't particularly like the ending because who is to say who has more to do? (I think dads have their own share of stresses, even if it's different from moms.)

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, 'I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed'.

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer , ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk, wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. 

Dad called out, 'I thought you were going to bed.' 

'I'm on my way,' she said

She put some water into the dog's dish then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on..

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's , hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework. In her own room, she set the alarm ; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. 

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. 'I'm going to bed' And he did. without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?

Cause we are made for the long haul....(and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

My favorite score from a movie. Hands down- My Heart Will Go On.

It sounds just as beautiful played only on a piano.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I wish I liked to clean. My mom and Claudia does, and it is quite amazing to see these two women wake up in the mornings and start thinking of all the way they are going to clean up their house that day! They actually LIKE cleaning! When my mom was here visiting, she would wake up and start cleaning from the moment that her foot touched the ground. I swear she was giddy with delight after finishing up one area or room to her liking. She tells me that she needs everything to be clean to her standards for her to feel at peace with her surroundings. It's quite inspiring...I wish I had more of that gene in me. Don't get me wrong. Of course, I clean up! But I wish that I actually LIKED doing it, as some people seem to do, and I wish messes bugged me, as it seems to bug others.

I always worry about the boys when they are at school. The main thing that I worry about when they are at school is that they are wasting time while they are there. They spend so much time at school and it bugs me to think that they might not even learn one single thing the whole time they are there. It bugs me to no end and then I have thoughts of them staying home with me all the time (cause I know more clearly what they DON'T know and I'll force those things upon them! I half kid!) I've been in the classroom so I know how difficult it is to differentiate learning for all the students in one class. Some kids just get lost in the shuffle and don't learn much at all the whole year. I refuse to let that happen to Tyler and Chase. As I told a friend earlier, I don't care if I come across as the pushy (or bitchy!) mom when my boys are concerned. That is my job! make sure my boys have the best experiences that life has to offer- including school! Like I said, they are there for the main part of the day and that's where they spend most of their hours! Anyways, I'm always stressed about this. I was talking to my mom about my these fears this morning and she basically told me to "get a life" and that if I spend my days worrying about this all the time then I need to find a job or find a hobby or cook more or clean more! haha... She is probably right!

I bought Garnier BB cream on a whim the other week and I'm liking it! (Don't ask me why I writing about BB cream on my blog! haha!) Anyways, I've been a devotee for Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer for so long, I never thought I would like another product but the BB cream has a little more coverage (which I need now in my old age!), is so much cheaper, and is suppose to do all these miraculous things to your skin while you're using it! Yay all around! It is a tad bit greasier but that goes away with a stroke of some powder. Once again, don't know why I felt the urge to share this...If you are a dude, you can use it too! I heard guys in Korea use BB cream too!

So much to do around the house! Shutters, crown molding, backyard, decorate, etc. AHHH!!! The first thing that we should do are window coverings so people don't have to see Jason walking around in his underwear! And then some grass in the backyard would be nice so the boys don't have to march around in dirt! One at a time, Cristina, one at a time...

Made my first meatloaf the other day and it came out ok, and it was so easy too! Very inspired to cook more...let's see if that lasts! :) Why am I writing about meatloaf here?! Ok, now you see why I almost said good bye to my blog. There's just not too much to write about in days are filled with total mommy stuff- cleaning, cooking, folding clothes, figuring out the boys' schedules, making sure uniforms are in the car, responding to birthday invitations, planning meals, grocery shopping, paying bills, making phone calls, etc....makes for a very boring blog I tell you!

Saw some Olympic event on TV over the summer and you know what totally captivates me? Women gymnastics. OMG, these girls are amazing. How the heck to do they do it?! I watch with my mouth wide open (like an idiot) and shake my head in disbelief at their amazing strength and abilities. I can't even imagine how many hours they have put into their sport to do what they can do. I can't even do one pull up so I can't even imagine how strong they are. Oh, and the drama- them leaving their families to train, them falling at competitions, Bela with his moustache cheering them on like a father, tears of pain and tears of joy...who doesn't like all this drama?!!! Anyways, hands down the best Olympic event to watch.

Gotta run! A mommy's job is NEVER done! Right, ladies?!

Monday, August 20, 2012's been awhile, huh?

For the last couple of weeks, I thought that I might just abandon this blog and even felt the calling to get on here and say good bye for good. And then, I remembered that the boys would be in school full time and I might want to blog when I had some free time to myself.

So today was the boys first day back to school. It was kind of uneventful actually and void of any tears. Chase and I were completely ready for him to be a "big boy" and I felt ok seeing him walk into his class. I'm more emotional now that I'm sitting here in this quiet house all by myself.

I can't believe that I have this quiet house all to myself during the week. It's kind of TOO quiet (of kid noises) and feels kind of strange at the moment. WAHHH!! I miss them already!

So we are in the new house now. People ask me all the time if I "love" my house. Love? Love a house? Uh no. And I say so, "" And then they ask me, "Why not? Is something wrong with it?" " Nothing is wrong with it." It's just an awkward conversation because they seem to be taken aback that I don't love my house. And, it makes me feel am I "suppose" to love this house? Am I suppose to say I love this house? Do I sound ungrateful or something? And then I thought about it. I don't care where I live. A house is a house, and that's it. Big, doesn't matter to me. As long as it gives me shelter and keeps me warm on wintery days and cooler on hot summer days, I'm good anywhere. I can't imagine LOVING a house. I love experiences. I love hugs. I love being with my boys. I love hearing laughter. I love just feeling free. Those things can happen in any ol' house. So, no, the answer is I don't love our new house. It's just a roof over our heads.

I'll try to write more later. I always need to ease back into writing in here when I've taken such a long hiatus. Miss you all.

Recently, after having spent some time with my mom and some good girlfriends from OC, I've taken some time to mourn my life in Southern California. Yup, mourned what could have been. :( Oh, don't I sound so dramatic sometimes? I can't wait for Thanksgiving!