Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, December 29, 2003

I was suppose to go to Korea with my mom.
But, instead, my mom ended up going without me.
Now, I am sick.
I have a cold.
And I need love-
Love that only a mother could give to her sickly child.
I miss my mom.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Disclaimer: The last two posts were switched somehow. Wrote the one on top this morning. Didn't want to confuse y'all.

9:55 AM. Christmas morning. We were all suppose to meet at 10:00, but I don’t think that is going to happen. Rich is still sleeping, Jason is at the hospital, my mom is having breakfast with some friends, Claud and Dave just woke up. Where is the all the Christmas spirit? It’s just not the same anymore. I remember when Richard used to wake up at the crack of dawn to see Santa’s plate of crumbs and gifts under a tree. This year- not even a tree! During the holidays, it’s just not the same without a young child in the house. Holidays are best when seen vicariously through the eyes of a child, I think.

Well, I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! Hope you have a blessed one.

I am sad Christmas is over.
I am happy that I heard from an old friend thru friendster. (Someone I've thought of often, but didn't know how to reach or what I would say even if I did.)
I am sleepy but don't want to sleep.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Hello. Hellloooo.

Lately, like a psycho girl, I've been perusing wedding magazines and books and taking notes. I say, "like a psycho girl" because I have yet to receive a shiny piece of jewelry to place on a certain finger on my left hand. But, really, there is nothing wrong with a girl looking at pretty, puffy white dresses and colorful bouquets of flowers and ornate invitations, now is there?

Ode to Jen:
Jen, where are thou?
I miss the.
I miss the eating of food, shopping for food, and stuffing the food in our fridge.
I miss the working off our food.
I miss the so.
Do you miss me the so?
(Ok, this is retarded.)

Lately, I've been seeing some commercials for the 2004 LA Marathon and it has gotten me thinking about last year. On that day, March 3, 2003 I think it was, as I ran the last six or so miles, I was cursing at myself and at the world. It just hurt so bad, but I knew the end was near.

Now, after a year to reflect on my experience of not only running that day, but of all the months of preparation, I have to say that it was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. People say that the things in life that you will most cherish are the things that you gave an earnest effort at, and I guess this is the case here. Though at the time, all of it was difficult: getting up before sunrise on Saturdays for long runs, not being able to go out on Friday nights, having the wear trashbags to ward off the rain, running through the mud, keeping up with the group, wearing vaseline on my legs so it wouldn't chafe.

But, I will never forget the experience of running along the beautiful coast of California, watching the sunrise and having the warmth of it hit my body, all the while, hearing the crashing waves of the Pacific Ocean. I will always cherish the memories of having Jen by my side through all of it, to talk in the beginning of each run and also in complete silence as we tried to conserve any energy and we concentrated on finishing a run. I will always be in awe of the way my body felt at times, seemingly floating through the air. It all felt so good and right.

I told myself that I would never run it again, that once in a lifetime would be enough for me, but lately, I've been itching to do it all over again. But, even if I did, I know it would never be the same as my first experience- all so new and amazing at each corner.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Shopping ended up not being as horrific as I imagined it to be. We found parking without seeing a finger... and that's always a good omen of a productive shopping day! Well, "Christmas Shopping 2004" is over for us so we are beyond thrilled that we don't have to set foot in another overcrowded mall for awhile.

I now know how I plan on spending my entire winter break- at the Cerritos Library! I went today to see if my card was still valid after all these year, and amazingly, it was. Now, I get to read for frrreee!! Libraries are the best places in the world, I swear. Can't believe they don't charge admission at the door.

Monday, December 22, 2003

It is almost noon and I am still in my pink pajamies. Nice. I am held captived at home by my mom who said that I couldn't leave the house until I clean up my room ("What am I, like eight years old?") So, instead of doing what could easily be done in less than half an hour for my freedom, I chose to surf friendster for the most exciting tidbits of information on the web (Is so and so seeing someone? What?...married! ooh...), reading up on the ever so informative personal blog sites, and eat premium Belgium chocolates in bed for breakfast. (Could it really be that "premium" if they are from Costco?-That's my question.)

Last night, I hung out with Susan and Leslie. I haven't seen Leslie in ages..I mean, ages. But, it was great catching up. They both haven't changed at all since high school, which makes me wonder if I have. I have so many memories with Leslie and she was always such a great friend to me, that seeing her last night make me wonder with sadness why we both didn't make more of an effort to keep in touch through the years.

Christmas is in a couple of days! Jason and I are going to do some last minute Christmas shopping today. I hope it's not too bad- in terms of parking and lines. I don't know if Jason will be able to handle it if shopping becomes more inconvient and annoying than it is on any other normal day!

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Saturday morning. I've got in the habit of waking up early every morning, even on the weekends. I am sure that this will change in the next few weeks.
Jason has to work today. Poor guy. He's as sick as a donkey. (Are donkeys sick?)

End of the year winter celebration in my classroom was, well, exhausting. That is, until I put in the movie and they all sat motionless and quiet in front of the boob tube like little zombies. Kind of scary, actually, to see my otherwise ADD children in such a peaceful state.

I have no real plans for the vacation. And, I've always thought that that is the best kind of vacation to have- a itinerary free one. However, now, I wish I had some concrete plans. I only have minor errands to run that can be completed in about three days, at most. I have a feeling that boredom will succumb me quickly.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

I got an early Christmas present from a student today. It was a velet red jumpsuit. Nice, but a little big.

When she gave it to me, she said, "My mom says that you could wear it when you get pregnant."

Huh? What the? Um, sure.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

I'm back. Sort of.

Last weekend, Jason and I went to Big Bear to see some snow and, ur..., there was no snow! We ended up watching the news the whole time (and they kept saying there was snow in Big Bear when there was none in sight!)

Good times.

This past weekend, Jason and I went to Vegas to win some money and, ur..., we didn't win a cent! (But we did watch a horrible show called Penn and Teller and ate an overpriced champagne brunch!)

Good times.

Last night I hung out with Susan and when she picked me up she said that she thought I was a homeless person on the street because of the way I was dressed!

Good times.

This Friday is the last day of school and then I get three weeks off.

GOOD GOOD times.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Been a little MIA lately. I have no energy. I'm just happy that school gets out at 12:45 today. That's all I'm looking forward to.

Friday, December 05, 2003

When I was younger, my family used to call me Tina. My dad would affectionately call me Teat short.

I thought that was cute and endearing until I found out what a teat was.

Then, I didn’t think it was so cute.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

What is it about caffeine that makes my heart feel like it is doing somersaults and is ready to jump out of my chest?

A more important question-
What still posesses me to get drinks that are loaded with caffeine even though I hate this feeling?

SN: When my phone busted apart a day ago after two years of dropping and throwing on the floor, I lost ALL your numbers. (Don't feel sad. I didn't even have my own mother's number memorized.) I need all your numbers again to K.I.T. so I hope to hear from you soon, via email or phone or fax or...holler!

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I have one pair of favorite pants. They are the perfect teacher pants. They are dressy enough that I don't look like a complete slob, but they so comfortable that I would swear that I was wearing sweats. Plus, they were only $15! But of course, by the time I went back to get one in every color, they only had size 12 and up.

Now, they are my favorite but I didn't say that they were perfect. These pants do have one major flaw- they come up to my upper ankles! I don't know what happened because they were perfect length when I bought them and it still fits me fine. They are just a bit short. They make me ridiculous- like I'm about to go work in rice paddies or I'm getting ready for the next El Nino.

But I just can't stop wearing them! Thank God kids are so forgiving.

Monday, December 01, 2003

This weekend, I hung out with the two most fashionable people that I know- Gina and Jenn. Gina was wearing hot pink shoes and this sweater/wrap thing. Jenn was wearing this off the shoulder shirt which was very reminicent of the 80's. I would never have even looked twice at those items if I were to come across them, but even a damn trash bag would look's so unfair! I am always the most conservative, underdressed, untrendy girl next to these girls!

I found out this weekend that I can't even hang with one martini. I spent all of Sunday weak and indoors because I drank ONE apple martini on Saturday. Really.

Yesterday, Jason and I went to Hide Sushi (Pronounced hee-day, but I like to call it the Hide the Sushi Restaurant). Afterwards, we were still not satisfied and got two Big Mac Combos to woof down at home...Can you believe that? Today, I have to work off the ickiness.

Jen got Uggs. She be leaving me and joining Jenn and Gina's stylish crowd soon.

Time never flies faster than when I am at school in the mornings. It doesn't matter what time I get in- 6:00, 6:15, 6:30. I'm getting ready for the day and, before I know it, I could hear the kids outside!