Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, August 31, 2009

The reason Jason thinks I'm starting a daycare: It's a excuse to buy more stuff for the boys!

The reason I think Jason supports me 100%: Tax write offs!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I'm feeling the momentum right now! :) I've made some major changes to my daycare/ preschool and I'm feeling good about it. Right now, I have two students signed up and they'll be joining me next week. I'm not advertising or anything at the moment. I'm going to take it real easy, settle the two children in, get into a groove, and take on more children when I am ready. Small baby steps.

So, why did I decide to open up a daycare/preschool? It's the most perfect job for me at the moment.
I've been itching to go back to work.
I get to do what I love- be with kids and teach them.
I get to stay home with Tyler and Chase.
I do everything I would do in a school setting (lesson plans, monthly newsletters, deal with parents, etc) in the comforts of my own home.
I can make some money. It's not much, but I like the feeling of making my own money.
I get to plan "ultimate" days for the kids in my care.
I feel like I'm making an impact on the kids who are in my care.

We spent this weekend getting the house ready and now that it's almost done, I'm getting super excited! Now, it's time to really get all the paperwork finished until I am proud of it! :)

Friday, August 28, 2009

SOOO ANNOYED!!! What makes people think they could come like two hours early to something and when I say, "oh, you're early," they say, "We're ok with it." BUT I'M NOT OK with it!!! I have plans! You can't just show up two hours early to my house without telling me first...OMG!! Am I being weird? Am I being mean? Everything will be fine, but I'm just so annoyed!


So I've heard that you learn as you try to open up a business and I sure have learned a lot in the last few weeks. For one, I think I was trying too hard to open early when I should have just waited until ALL was planned out and I was COMPLETELY ready. Don't know what I was thinking. I think I'm going to give myself a month break before I start advertising again. I'm going to take a month breather and reevaluate my hours, fees... the whole VISION of the place. I'm not going to open up my daycare/preschool until I feel that it is the quality that it should be. It's definitely not ready at the moment. I've been feeling sick about it, and now I know what I have to do so I feel a bit better about it.

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Gosh, starting your own business is hard!!! I know, a home daycare could hardly be called a business, but it's something that I'm investing my time, money, and effort into so it's a business to me!

It's such a roller coaster ride! One moment, I am like, "It's totally going to work out." and then, the next minute, I am totally doubting that I will get any kids!" A lot of people have emailed me and mostly, all they care about is the price of the daycare...nothing else. They don't ask me what I am going to do with the children, if I am qualified, or what. All they ask is hours and price. So I realized that most people just are looking for the cheapest place to put their child(ren) and I'm not on the cheaper end so I wonder if I will get any kids!

So what helps me get through these times when I am doubting myself? I totally think about people who I know who started their own businesses, had dreams and just went for it. I think about Kelli who has her own very successful daycare and how she had to start with one kid at a time. I think about Gina who is pursuing her dream of selling her artwork. I think of Vero who is pursuing her dream to be a photographer.
I think of others too who started their own businesses and how it must have been really scary for them. Also, I think about what Sophia said when I talked to her about starting a daycare years ago. I was hesitant because I didn't know ALL about the business side of running a daycare (such a contracts, licensing, etc), and she told me, "Cristina, you don't have to know everything from the beginning. You LEARN as you go along." And she is right. I've learned a lot even in the last month about the business part of having a daycare.

Maybe I'm just down on myself because I feel like the rooms are not completely ready so I feel behind and feel like I can't really show them to people in the state that they are in right now.

Some things take time to work itself out so I will have to be patient and take it one day at a time. I'm not worried.

See what I said?? Not worried one minute and worried the next!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Just wanted to write something that Tyler said awhile back when we were still living at the old house. I overheard him say to Chase, "Why are you lying there like a little old rock?" I was confused and looked in the living room. Tyler was sitting on the couch watching tv and Chase was lying the ground. It was just a funny comment that I want to remember.

Recently, my big thing with Tyler is that I want him to give Chase a chance to do things and answer questions. Since Tyler is older, he likes to do things for Chase and if I ask them a question, he always answers and doesn't give Chase time to respond. So I recently had to have a talk with him. I told him that when I ask Chase a question, he will know it because I will say "Chase" in the question and that means that I don't want him to answer. In the beginning, he had a hard time but I see that he is trying. Also, I told him not to do everything for Chase because he needs to learn by doing things on his own. Today, they were looking in a Where's Waldo type book where they had to search for certain items in a picture. I was sitting right next to them and I could see that Tyler would find some items, but instead of pointing them out right away, he would say, "Chase, I think the elephant is in this area. Can you find it?" while directing Chase to look at one area of the picture. And after Chase found it, Tyler would say, "Good job! You found it!" Chase was seriously so happy and beaming with pride. I know that Tyler did this to give Chase a chance to find some of the items and I was so proud of him because I didn't even ask him to do it. Such a sweetie pie!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Daycare update! Yesterday, I got my first full time student! yay! The boy is 2 1/2 and I think he will be a perfect playmate for Tyler, Chase, and Brady. I'm excited!

For anyone out there who requested paperwork from me, it's going in the mail today so be on the lookout!

Friday, August 14, 2009

I'm on- official opening day is Monday, September 7th! You will be there to witness history. For now, on that opening day, it'll be just me, Tyler, and Chase...but it's all good! ;) I'm not fretting. Gotta start somewhere. One baby step at a time.

I spent a good hour thinking of a name for the daycare yesterday night, thinking of all sort of combinations, and I came up with Bright Star Preschool. Then I went online to find that there is already a Bright Star Preschool in California somewhere, but I'm not deterred! I love the name and I'm sticking to it! Bright Star-It makes me think of a kiddo who just shines a little brighter than the rest. There is something special about him. He is happy, self assured, and confident. That's what I want to see from the kids who are in my care. They will feel confident because they will feel loved. They will be self assured knowing that they are learning about the world around them and figuring things out. They will feel happy knowing they are safe.

I'm truly am excited. I know some people think I'm being crazy, but I've been thinking about this since Tyler was born. About four years ago, I was a working mom and looking for the BEST place for Tyler. Nothing mattered. I would have driven anywhere, would have paid any money to know that Tyler was in the best care possible. Since then, he has gone to a church preschool, a home daycare situation, a montessori, and a regular preschool. Every time he would enter a new school, I would think to myself, "I can do this, and I know I can do it better." I hope parents who come to me know that I am 100% serious about this. I would NEVER, I repeat- NEVER- take Tyler out of a preschool if I didn't think I could do a better job in preparing him for the future. I hope that makes sense.

I guess that is why I was a bit taken aback at how quickly the man who came over yesterday agreed for me to watch his son. In a way, I wanted him to grill me. I wanted him to shoot questions at me and realize from my answers that my home would be the best care to place his son. He didn't seem as SERIOUS as I am about this. He probably thought, it's just daycare. Somewhere to drop off my kid while I'm looking for work. NO!!!! I want parents who GET IT. Who can understand the vision...who can FEEL the energy. I'm pumped and I want parents who are pumped up with me! Ok, now I'm sure some of you are thinking I'm going a bit overboard here...but that's what I mean, I'M NOT!!!

Ok, enough ranting here today. I better go do some marketing or something. Or get the rooms ready! Or get all the paperwork in order.

Can't wait till the day I am looking at bustling room with kids...

You're in bad shape when you put on a pair of old jeans and you can't breathe and you feel like the seams will rip open.

Must. Lose. Five. Pounds.

so annoyed!! I have all these thoughts in my head, but none of it will come out coherently. Some nights are just good "work" nights. Some nights are a waste of time and effort. Tonight is the latter. I'm just staring at a blank page on my computer wondering why I drank coffee to stay awake for nothing.

Right words- please come to me tonight.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Hello there! I started advertising my home daycare today and I got my first home visit. He didn't ask me too many questions, looked around, and told me he trusted me rather quickly. He said he wanted to enroll (is that the right word?) his son asap but I told him that I'm starting the first week of Sept. He kept telling me how times were really tough for him right now because he has been out of work for about a year now and even asked me if I knew anyone who was hiring. Towards the end of our meeting, it seemed like he came over to ask me for a job or something! Don't know where this will lead, but I was very excited to have gotten one call back today! :) Sorry if this is boring but for the next two weeks, I will be totally engrossed in getting this daycare off the ground, so bare with me!

Saturday, August 08, 2009

The boys melt my heart when they say...

1. I just love it whem Tyler says "obviously." It's so cute for some reason. For example, yesterday, I told him to pick his toys off the floor. After he didn't, I called his toys trash, and he said, "Why do you call them trash when they're obviously not!"

2. My favorite thing that Chase says is "very very hurt." He says it quite often because he is always hurting himself or getting bonked in the head by Tyler. It's cute cause he says it with an Indian accent and so it's super duper cute. :)

Thursday, August 06, 2009

A picture with our cousin, Katie. Doesn't Chase look miserable?! haha.

Happy 2nd Birthday to my baby Chase!!!

Monday, August 03, 2009


Here are pics of Tyler and Chase at about the same age. I get asked all the time if they are twins. I think they do look like brothers but I think Chase looks more like me and Tyler looks more like Jason. What do you guys think? Do you think they look alike?

(I wrote this a couple of nights ago but for some reason, I couldn't publish it that night. Like I said, me and Tech- were not friends. He hates me.)

It is 1:47 and I'm waiting for Jason to come home so I think I will write something in here. I don't know why, but I am totally not tired at all! Well, maybe it's because I slept so dang much the last two nights. Hmmm...that could be it! I get SOOO tired for like two days out of the month. My bones actually FEEL heavy and it takes energy to even move my arms to write something. I'm not kidding. I'm pretty sure it's PMS because the tired feeling comes every month without fail. It comes with bad skin, crankiness, and a downright feeling of fugliness. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about, right? On the days you're PMSing, don't you just feel uglier than usual? (Oh. Maybe it's just me.) I look in the mirror and I'm like, "Whoa... what happen to you, sista? You ugly!" haha, but in all seriousness- men, be happy, be very happy, you don't have hormones that go up and down like waves in the ocean. Be happy of your constant state of bliss. Be happy that you don't find yourself uglier on certain days. Be happy you don't have stretch marks. Be happy you don't have to... dude, I could go on, but thing might start to get a bit crass for some of you. I'll just end there.

So tonight I had to move my car from outside my house to inside our garage. Why you ask? Well, because I live in a community that has a crazy ass association that makes up rules such a this one. I can't park where I want to, and if I wanted to park outside my house, I would have to show proof that there isn't enough space in our garage (because we have too many cars) and pay $75 a year! Sheer craziness! So anyways, I was really scared to move it so late at night. I'm really scared of the dark. Too many scary movies will do this to people, you know. Well, I just know some boogie man will jump out of the bushes if I go out at night. Again, I'm not joking. I will NEVER go out by myself at night. NEVER!!! Don't really know when this fear set in because I used to be fearless in my younger years! Damn, when I was at Berkeley, I used to walk home at like 2 in the morning from the library ALONE!! What was I thinking? And I remember stumbling to walk up the stairs to my apartment in my drunken state at like 3 in the morning after a night of partying when I lived with Jen. Once again, what kind of fool was I...did I really think I could fight off an attacker in THAT state of mind? And forget about running away in five inch heels. Well, I digress. What was I writing about? oh, so I was scared but I did it and moved my car all by myself. My heart was thumping and I was looking all around and I was holding my phone high up in the air (so any attacker could see that I am a finger away from calling the cops), and I did it! yay!! I'm not so wimpy after all.

Oh, of course, a post wouldn't really be a post without a saying from Tyler, would it? A couple of weeks ago, he sat on the toilet without a child seat and he exclaimed in triumph, "Mom, I'm a man now!" And then tonight, he asked me to wash kimchee for him and give him little pieces of it. When I asked him if it was too spicy, he answered, "I'm a man, remember?" And he ate all of it, even though his face was turning red and sweat was coming down his face.

He is so funny too. While other kids yell "Mommy" when they need to get their butt wiped. He claps his hands and slaps his legs as a sign that he needs me in the bathroom. He started this a long time ago at our old house. He says that it's sign language that he needs me in the bathroom. Funny guy. I didn't think it would last more than a week, but it's been months now and he still calls me like that.

Well, that's it for tonight. Hope Jason comes home soon...


At the science center.

What's a movie without popcorn?

At church.

Tyler showing us how he threw a ring to win a stuffed Shamu. He was proud of himself!

Here he is with his Shamu!

Both the boys are time! Wahoo! I always tell myself that I will do this and that when and if they nap at the same time, but when it really happens, I tell myself, "Why would I go ruin this perfectly calm afternoon by waking them up with the dishes going into the dishwasher and the toys banging while I throw them back into the toy box." I'm so good with excuses not to get things done around here! I've mastered the art of making excuses for being lazy! :) I thank my lucky stars that Jason is not a complainer!

Here are some random pictures from the lat month or so. I tried to post more but I for some reason, it wouldn't work...the story of my life. Me and any sort of technology are definitely not friends!

I just had a bowl of ice cream at 1:00 in the morning. Nothing that my stomach needed. Or my thighs for that matter. I feel naseous.

I was looking at this girl's fb pictures. I've totally hit stalker status, cause I don't even know this girl. I was able to look at her pictures because someone I know posted a comment on her picture. (How does that work?) Anyways, I guess she was in korea this summer cause, well, the title to her pictures were Summer in Korea. (I'm a bright one.) When I was looking through her pictures, I got nostalgic and sad. I want to go to Korea again! I know we just went a couple of months back, but I really loved it and I wish I could spend a month there. I secretly wish I could live there. When I tell Jason to help his wife's dreams come true and I say the words, "Damn, doesn't your credentials just open doors for you?!" he responds by telling me I couldn't survive there even a week. Try me!

So I have to write about here about how much I hate public pools. I HATE it. Don't know who thought of it. Don't know why people LOVE it so much. I'm not joking. I just hate pools. I even hate summers because I feel guilty for not taking my boys to the pool. Here is my neighbor- she walks her two kids (same age as Tyler and Chase) to the pool every day making me feel even more guilty. I always told myself that I didn't take the boys to the pool because, how the heck am I going to deal with two kids in the pool by myself? And then, here goes Supermom over here making it look all easy and crap. Damn! So here are some reasons why I hate public pools. #1. Does anyone really need to see my thighs- my thunder thighs. I don't even want to stare at them as I dress. Do I really need to put my thighs out there for others? Don't think so. #2. I hate the sun. If I'm out in the sun for over one hour, I feel like I've aged at least a good year. If I'm in the water, I feel like I've aged a year in five minutes. I can actually feel my skin sagging and my wrinkles forming around my sensitive eyes. That hot feeling of the sun hitting my skin? It feels good for about a minute. And then I bolt for the shade and the only thing that will get me out is if Tyler or Chase is drowning. Don't talk to me about putting on some SPF. I know it helps an itty bit, but do you really believe that it's waterproof? Come on now, you go in the pool, and all the spf goodness in floating up to the top of the water. Which brings me to #3. Do you really know what inside a pool? I am sure that kids pee and some even poo in the pool. You know when you hit a warm spot when you are swimming in the pool? There ain't a heater under that spot. No! You just been hit with some kid's pee who swam away like someone walks away from their own fart. GROSS!!! now you thought you were swimming in clean water...but looks like you are swimming in your neighbor's urine! Oh and don't get me started on sweat. Last time I went to the pool, I saw this nasty sweaty guy jump into the pool with my precious boys in the pool, and I had enough and demanded they get out of the water immediately. So sorry, but pool parties are not my thang. And pool play dates? Even worse cause it's not even a special occassion! Oh, I just realized that I have reason #4. There is so much stuff to take to the pool! Towel, drinks and snacks, spf, life jackets, floaty things, etc. Gosh, it takes a whole day to plan this outing and a whole day to put things back! So, anyways, I much rather let the boys "swim" in their bathtub and call it a day! Now one day if I get a private indoor pool with a mighty filter, I might feel differently about pools. But for now, public pools are just not fun!