I was so tired afterschool yesterday that I decided to call in for a sub today. It's a good thing I did because even after a night's rest, I still feel like a walking zombie. Jason is in Vegas right now and will be back tonight. He called last night to tell me that he was in a huge suite at Cesars. Damn! I wish I was there!

I need to tell myself to take it easy when I teach. I have ONE class where the students are actually motivated and I totally overexert all my energy in this class, trying to squeeze everything I want them to learn in one class period. I need to tell myself to calm down. Yesterday, I felt myself getting tense and my muscles cramping but I just kept at it, standing and completely over doing it. I need to just take it easy the next three weeks.

Well, like I've mentioned, Jason is not here and there is this freaky, spooky thing that that is happening in our home. We have a lamp that gets brighter as you touch it. It goes from dim, to brighter, to brightest, and then with the next touch, it turns off. Anyways, this lamp is freaking me out. Lately, its been turning on by itself when we're not touching it. It gets brighter. It turns itself off. It's possessed, I tell you! We've known that something was wrong for some weeks now because the light be be on when we come home from work and we know that turned it off and the light is on in the morning when we know that we turned it off before going to bed. It was a little wierd but I was alright since Jason was always next to me. Well, yesterday night, as I sat watching the lame new Bachelorette in my near comatose state, the light turned off by itself scaring the shit out of me. I get really scared by things like that, especially since I had just seen the preview for White Noise on TV. Freaky. Freaky.

As I get bigger and bigger, I am getting more and more excited for Tyler to be here. To be completely honest, I am horrified by not knowing what labor will be like. I am going to TRY to go the natural route and not take any meds. I just think its gotta be the best for me and the baby to not have drugs in my system. Plus, in a wierd way, I want to feel what is going on. I don't like the idea of not having control of my body, not feeling anything and having to be told when to push because I can't feel the contractions. BUT, I've also told myself that if I really can't handle the pain, I would opt for some epidural (though not enough to completely paralyze me.) Either way, I'll just be happy to have a healthy baby.

One thing that kind of bums me out is that we won't have a complete nursery ready for my little boy when he is here. I've always wanted to have it all complete and ready for my babies when I had them, decorated angelically and smelling of baby powder. Well, we live in a one bedroom apartment so he will be sharing the room with us at least until July when we will be leaving Portland and going wherever we will be going next. And since we'll be moving only four months after he is born, it doesn't make too much sense to buy all this bulky furniture now, but to purchase it once we move. Like Jen said, "I don't think he will care," but still my innner wish is that everything would be perfect and ready for him in a carefully decorated room like the ones I see in baby magazines.

Hope you have a good day. I've had my breakfast and now I'm ready to go back to bed!