Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

The guilt is killing me right now. Every Thursday morning, we have "department meetings"- where I should be right now but I'm not. This is the second meeting in two weeks that I decided not to attend. I would go if I was sure it was an ESL meeting, but I *think* I am suppose to go to a Language Arts Department meeting today and I don't *think* it is mandatory that I attend this since I am not officially in that department. Since all of this is not set in stone, I don't *think* anyone will even care or notice if I am not there. I am just hoping that no one cares about little ol' me and where I am at this time. Only one other ESL teacher would care or notice and I am just hoping and praying that she doesn't squeal on me.

And then, this sense of guilt is totally erased when I say to myself, "Shoot, I am a long term sub. I have about five weeks left. So fire me and go through all the hassle of finding a better replacement. So there." I know, I'm horrible.

Oh, did I mention that I went and bought all new makeup last Saturday? I didn't go buck wild, but did buy some essentials. And, let me tell you: it feels so good to have all new makeup! All the cases are so clean and without scratches. The sponges are so fresh. The eyelash curler actually curls. It just a good feeling. Girls, throw out all that old, cakey makeup and start fresh!

Yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment. Everything is going well. Tyler's heartbeat is a healthy 140 beats a minute. And I learned that I gained 20 pounds in the last six months...oh great...time to put down those extra cinnamon buns! I just pray that Tyler will be born healthy. Oh, and now Jason and I can SEE Tyler's movements. When I feel a kick in my belly, I could SEE it. Yeah, I know..it's something out of the movie Alien or something. It's just amazing.

Happy Thursday to y'all. Chug along. More more day and...it's the weekend! :)


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