Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, October 01, 2012

a letter to my decorative pillows

dear decorative pillows, when i first laid eyes on you, i was so excited. finally, i could feel chic having you next to my side. i have been looking at you from afar at store displays and in magazines for so long, and i couldn't wait for the day that you would be a part of our lives.

i brought you all home and proudly laid you cuddly cuties on my bed. you looked so soft and inviting....all ten of you. at first, i thought that your group was a little too big, but that's the way i saw you live in magazines and other cool looking homes. it must be right. i was so proud to see you all stacked up vertically together like dominoes.

the first night, jason crossly said, "really? really? is it necessary to have all these pillows in our bed?" and i said, "hush," as i placed a finger to his lips, "you don't know a thing about style. just leave the decorating up to me" and i proceeded to place each one of you gingerly on the after another after another after another after another......

the next morning, i saw you all on the ground. "you don't belong there," i exclaimed and picked all of you back up onto the bed, one after another after another after another after another....

after a couple of nights, i must admit, this movement back from the bed to the floor each night kind of got tedious, but of course, for the sake of living fabulously, work must be done, i said to myself.

after a couple of weeks, i came to the realization that i am done with you decorative pillows! you're a con! you serve no purpose! i don't even use or need you! you shed! i can't even wash some of you!(yuck!) you hurt my back! you give me stress...demanding to be moved every night and morning. (don't you see that i already have too much on my plate?)

so, i'm sorry but it is time for us to part ways. don't cry. you will be placed in another home i am sure. to another home you will go, where you will, once again, serve no true purpose.

i am sad that i had such high hopes in our pairing. we seemed like a a good fit. i am glad i saw the truth about you while i could still find my receipts. farewell, my cuddly cuties.


Blogger Christine said...

You're too funny! Everything of beauty calls for a sacrifice. No pain no gain right? I'm sure the pillows looked fab and hopefully you didn't really get rid of them!

4:33 PM  

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