Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

i have said this many times before- "my dad is crazy." that's not a nice thing to say. from now on, i think i will just say, "my dad is extremely quirky." i will make a list of some of my dad's quirkiness right now.

1. my dad's favorite store is ross. yup. he loves going there and will admit that it is his favorite store. he will hold up a shirt and say, "all those people who shop at the mall are just crazy. you get the same thing here for so much cheaper." i don't have the heart to tell him that what he is holding up is not a real ralph lauren shirt- it's just a cheap knockoff called "USA polo assocation." anyways, he loves going to that place and will spend an hour or two just to look around in amazement at how cheap things are!

2. my dad loves giving the oddest gifts. he has given us a huge bag of dried mushrooms before because "if you boil it in water and drink the water, it is good for your health." he has given us a framed "art" displaying dead butterflies. i mean, those are just two thing that i can remember right now...but really, his gifts leave us shaking our heads in complete bewilderment. this last trip, he gave the boys one toy each- from, of course, ross. they weren't too strange this time around, but on the whole, my dad gifts the strangest things out there.

3. my dad is very frugal with his money. that is putting it lightly. i ask him if he wants a coffee from starbucks and he yells, "why are you and claudia always wasting money? just take me to mcdonalds and get me the 50 cent senior coffee right now!" when he visited us a couple of weeks ago, he demanded subway three times because they have the $2 for 6 inch subs. i tell him, "don't worry. i will pay for it. what do you WANT to eat?" and he will tell me that is what he WANTS to eat, but i know it's because it is only $2. he literally cannot stomach expensive food...even if he doesn't have to pay for it! when we call him cheap, he says, "you will never know what it feels like to stay up all night wondering how you are going to pay the next month's rent. that is how i lived when you guys were little. it scars you and you become a saver."

4. my dad knows more about skin care than my own mom. he just loves lotions and potions to make himself look younger! i know...strange!!! he says, "people don't believe me when i tell them i am 63. they think i am in my 50s." he prides himself on looking younger than he really is. when i laugh at him and say he is acting like a girl, he says, "men need to age gracefully too. who wants to befriend or do business with someone who looks old and wrinkly? no one." it's really fun to take my dad to costco and look at skin care products (of course at costco because he would never buy at the "expensive" mall). he makes me read all the product descriptions to him and if he likes what one product promises- "clear skin, less wrinkles"- he gets all giddy, quips, "that's it!" and throws the product in the cart. it is hilarious.

5. my dad wears shape up sketchers. yup, you read that right- my dad rolls kardashian style. one time we were at costco and they were selling them. he tried them on and said, "these are great! they are so comfy!" i swear he liked them because he gives him an inch in height. (oh, i didn't tell you that my dad is really short? it's amazing that i came out fairly normal in height- in korean standards anyways.) then he asked how much it was and when i was looking for the price on the sign, i saw that it was "womens shoes." i told my dad that they were for women and he was like, "who cares? they fit me, they are comfy, i like them!" if you ever see a short asian man wearing sketcher shape ups, say hi!

6. my dad calls people who waste money idiots. so i grew up with a dad that said this to me all the time: "look at that idiot driving a mercedes. i swear i have more money than him and he thinks he looks special driving his fancy car.  it doesn't make him special. it makes him a dummy." you see, my dad drove ratty used cars all his life and would say proudly, "i MADE money driving this car." we were at the airport once and he said pointing the people riding first class, "what idiots. they think they are special by riding first class. this plane is going to the same place and we will end up at the same location." oh, and sometimes, he will add, "there are starving children in the world and they think it's ok to flash that _______ (insert expensive item) around." one time, my dad saw me holding an expensive purse that jason bought me and said, "even the makers of that purse laugh at you on the inside while they are selling that purse to you." now you see why i have a hard time spending tons of money on luxury items. when you grow up hearing that all your life, it's going to make an impact.

7. my dad is a mover and shaker. the man can't sit still. when he was visiting, i told him that i had some stuff to do and that he could just wait at home for me. his response: "why wait at home? i want to do things and see things. just drop me off somewhere and pick me up later when you are done." he always walked really fast when we were little. imagine a short asian man walking really fast with his short legs while his two little girls ran after him yelling, "you're going to fast!' that was my dad, claudia and me.

8. my dad doesn't tell us what he does or how he has money. see, he has been traveling for over ten years and doesn't really "work." when i ask him if he has enough money and what he does, he answers very vaguely. i suspect he has money saved up from years of frugalness. he tells me, "don't worry about me. i do what i want, eat what i want. i have a great life!"

9. my dad is a list maker. he is constantly writing things down in a little notebook. when he visits us, he will sit me down and take out his little notebook and tell me he needs to talk to me about a few things. you would think he needs to talk to me about some important stuff- it being written down and all. but he will say, "#1 are you eating organically? why not" #2 are the boys taking swimming lesson? they need to know how to swim. #3 do you call your in laws on a regular basis?"#4 do you go to church? #5 do you know how to make kim chee?" it's all complete random stuff and makes me laugh.

10. my dad is really great with all the grandkids. he loves playing and being silly with them. he tries to make them laugh and loves joking with them. not a quirky side of my dad, but definitely a side to him that i admire.
as we get older, my dad has slowly morphed from being "my dad" to being a contemporary. he is downright, knee-slapping funny. i can pretty much talk to him about anything and i do take his advice seriously.

i'll end this list for now because chase is calling for me. i will end with two quotes from my dad that made me laugh.

"claudia and your JOB is to spend money."

"why are you and claudia talking about me? why you guys always talking about me? why? why?" after grabbing the phone out of claudia's hands.

haha...just remembered it is new years! happy new year! may 2012 be filled with love and happiness!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post made me laugh OUT LOUD. Thanks for sharing such funny and honest things about your life/family. There is no "normal" person out there so your dad fits right in with the rest of us. :)

Marie

8:38 PM  
Blogger Cristina said...

hey marie! thanks for the comment! :) hope you are doing well and wishing you the best in 2012!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Missy Krissy said...

hi! that was the funniest post ever! haha, was giggling the whole time, you totally made my day at work! your dad is sooo jehmehsuh. i find my dad 'quirky' too, or different. must be that generation!

1:56 PM  
Anonymous susan said...

hahaha i tried to translate everything in my head to korean and imagined your dad saying it. makes it even funnier! tell your dad i say hello next time he's in time!

8:45 AM  

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