Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

hello, hello.

well, well, well.... look who decided to post again?

sorry i've been mia lately. last week or so, i had an jarring  epiphany: i am a terrible writer. this news is, unfortunately, not news to me but, for some reason, for the first time, i am so embarrassed by it- embarrassed by my all my previous posts full of run on sentences, spelling errors, hanging modifiers (or whatever they are called) and other egregious grammatical errors that i just didn't think warranted my time to be corrected. it just dawned on me- my boys will read this when they get a little bit older (possibly, after some bribing from me later on), and what will they think? i mean, this blog is for them, i say, so they will think, "this is the effort you gave, huh, mom? wow.... good job." and, i genuinely felt bad about it. i told myself that i would give more of an effort, more time to at least fix the glaring mistakes and, maybe even possibly, if i really wanted to say that i've changed, go back old school style and write some drafts before "publishing?" (remember: first draft, revise, edit, and THEN publish?) cause, wow, i have been skipping the first three steps up until now.

so anyways, more effort doesn't necessarily mean better writing, but i shall try. i even told myself that i should take some sort of writing class and go back to the basics to learn all the nitty gritty (like, is it laid or lay?) what the hell was i smoking or drinking or daydreaming about when all this was taught in school? i swear, i honestly swear, that i don't think i was ever taught any sort of writing rules growing up. not to blame the educational system to which i was a part of, but i don't ever recall learning any grammar in school. i lived in the ghettos growing up and my teachers sucked ass (how is that for good writing?). they didn't care about teaching us. i had one teacher, mr. bonner, who sat on the computer all day long and played george michael's "i want your sex" for us while we filled out mindless worksheets all day long. you don't know that you had a "bad" teacher until you become a teacher and realize, "omg. i did shit in my most formative years!"

not dogging all my past schools, because y'all, i went to whitney for high school, but wouldn't you know it? i wasn't taught grammar at whitney either (tell me, my fellow whitneyites, if this isn't true and that, i'm just trying, once again, to find excuses for myself). i think the teachers just expected you to already know certain things because i'm sure most students did know these things. man, looking back, i went to a school full of walking nerds- good for them. i could only wish some people would have call me a nerd in high school. that is the ultimate compliment in my eyes. i've heard many words to describe me- crazy, outgoing, wild, crazy, friendly, did i say crazy?- but nerd? nerd. never and i'm quite sad about that actually.

so what was i talking about? see, i have no idea! oh yeah, i was writing about how i would try to really writing something of substance here and that i would take the time to do all the "steps to good writing." oh, that was until a week passed and i couldn't carve out any time to write, like, really write the way i wanted and the way that i felt you deserved.

so sorry, again, but though i will try to only publish more substantial thoughts and more meaningful writing from here on out (did i really cry and vent about some gym membership on this blog? oh, geez..... embarrassing!). i can't promise that my writing will improve or anything because it's not like grammar rules will suddenly fall from the sky and into my brain or anything.

what was i writing about? ah yes- more effort on my part, but bear with me- cause it likely won't get any better.

how is that for optimism?

so here is my first post back since my shameful week of my-writing-sucks-why-do-i-even-continue-this-blog?

oh and please, you don't have to make me feel better and say, "cristina, it's not that bad." i'm not looking for pity here because, let's face it, we both know the truth. it does.

i will post this now. unfortunately, i didn't edit, revise, or anything. i'm just publishing my first draft. i'm a mom. this is a mommy blog. not an article anywhere of importance so there we have it. i guess i'm ok with mediocrity after all.

what was this post about, again?

oh dear.

3 Comments:

Blogger WeiKuo said...

I have never noticed any issues with grammar or spelling in your posts. Don't worry about it. When I read your posts, I read it like how I think you would say it. Every post is like having a conversation with Cristina!

7:02 PM  
Blogger Cristina said...

hey weikuo!! you are too sweet!!! hope all is well!!!

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Christine said...

We love your posts! They're you they're real
They're honest. It's like straight from your mind and heart and it's true, it's like hearing it from you directly. Only you can be you and I love reading your thoughts!

1:13 PM  

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