Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Tyler has a lot of toys to play with, but he seriously spent the whole day playing with the salad spinner, putting different objects it in and watching it spin. When I see things like that, I wonder why we spend money on toys to begin with when kids are just as happy to play with every day objects. You know that saying "kids are more happy to play with the box that it came in?" Well, I find that to be true.

Our place is an utter mess today. I have PMS, which means that I am extra tired for no reason and can't muster any energy to pick up after all three of my boys (hubby included in count). I have a play date planned for this Thursday so I better get out of my funk tomorrow or Wednesday. Otherwise, the other moms won't ever come back to my house again and Tyler might never have any more friends.

A couple of weeks ago, I got together with a moms' group and we had an ice breaker where everyone was given a question to answer. My question was: If they made a movie about your life, what would it be about and who would play you? So I answered that my movie would be the most boring movie ever made because my life so far has been pretty uneventful. You know, graduated high school, went to college, graduated college, got a job, married, two kids... not a plot to any movie I would want to sit through! To the second question, I said that the most obvious choice to play the part of me would go to Angelina Jolie since we are similiar in stature and our chest size is about the same. This elicited much laughter and hurt my feelings a bit. ;) Anyways, I came home and thought about this for awhile and I realized that I totally answered wrong. If I had to write a movie about my life, it would be called "Reformed Drama Queen." It would be about a girl who thought the world would end with any insignificant thing- a little dent in the car, a missed phone call, whatever. And then, she would marry the most "akuda matada" husband on this planet and his ways would rubbed off on this girl. oh who would play me in this version? Margaret Cho comes to mind.

I've been thinking of writing in here every day. I think that would be cool. I love it when sites that I stalk update regularly. That way, I am sure to get my fix for the day. Possibly if I did this, I would have more readers. Oh, by the way, if you read this site, I have NO IDEA who you are, so keep reading. If I know that people visit, it makes me write more. If I didn't have a site meter and I had to go by the number of comments that I get, I would have sadly ended this site prematurely. Thanks to the handful who leave comments!

Tyler is sitting next to me and telling me to get off the computer. Today, I read him a book entitled Olivia's Missing Toy (I think) and in the middle of it, Tyler made me stop, while he had tears in his eyes and little sweat beads on his scalp (that I can see since he's hair is buzzed). Why you ask? Well, he got so scared by this silly little book and didn't want me to continue. I don't know what to make of this. It made me proud to know that I am a great storyteller and that I can still scare the daylights out of children by my array of scary voices, and also, I was baffled at how easily Tyler gets scared. He makes us fast forward "Percy's Scary Tale" when we watches Thomas DVD's because he says it is "too dark." When he gets scared he tells us that Chase will protect him! Chase!!! I'm like, "Tyler, Chase is still a BABY!" and he will say, "That's ok, mommy, Chase will protect me!" Hopefully, he will grow out of this.

Our highlight of our day? We had an earthquake drill at home. Yes, an earthquake drill. At home. I know. I know. What in heaven's name do I do with my kids all day long? haha. Well, I was reading a book about earthquakes to him and it dawned on me that if my goal while Tyler is at home with me is to teach him the way I would teach my kids at school, I should teach him what to do in case there is an actual earthquake, so I told him, "Tyler, always stay calm. Look for the sturdiest desk that is closest to you. Get away from all windows if possible. Cover yourself with a jacket or blanket, and then cover your neck with your hands." And then, Tyler, Chase, and I went under our dining table and pretended there was an earthquake...hahah. I can't believe that I'm actually writing this for all of you to make fun of later! Well, Tyler had a fun time and I think he learned something.....that's all that matters.

Oh, since y'all be making fun of me anyways, I will share something stupid that I said to Jason a couple of days back. He came home and was bombarding me with tons of questions. I had a tiring day so I yelled at him, "Dude, you just got home. Give me a moment to decompose." He looked at me and said, "Do you mean, decompress?" "WHATEVER!!! You know what I mean...leave me alone!" I yelled back!

So I can't believe that I'm sitting here blogging when I should be cleaning up the place. When the sun sets, it takes all my energy with me. I want to rest with the sun I say. Another one of my excuses? hmmm...Anyways, like I said, I'm totally PMSing so I called my sister and left this message: "Tell dad only to come over here in the morning if he will not say a thing about the mess because I am PMSing big time and I don't want to hear anything from dad. If you think that he will start to nag me, then tell him to come in the afternoon."

Anyways, so I think I wrote "PMS" in here once too many times, but I'll write it here again. You know what doesn't help PMS one itty bitty bit? Gorging on McDonalds. Because that hamburger, 4 pieces of chicken nuggets, apple pie, and orange soda that I had at 9:00 did not do me one bit of good!

Heaven help me. :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

cristina, you are HILARIOUS!!! i miss you! call me!!! let's hang out soon! school's almost out! hurraaaaayyyyyyy~

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha...your stories never cease to amaze me. your shoutout to the anonymous readers was classic.


2:36 PM  
Anonymous susan said...

hahaha! dude, you are too funny.

from the "...Tyler might never have any more friends..." to the earthquake drill to the "decompose"

ahahaha! thank you for entertaining me at work.

11:15 AM  
Blogger Cristina said...

Alice, I BETTER see you this summer!

Rich and Susan, you guys better not make fun of me!

6:02 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

you are too funny. i love your blogs. and you are the best mommy in the world - can i send my kids to you for earthquake drills?

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Conrad said...

Awesome post. You should write a book. Hilarious stuff. See you and the kids sometime soon.

10:19 AM  

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