Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Today is my last day and then I get a week off!!! yeah!! Nothing better than a week vacation! I actually counted how many days of work I have left and, after today, I only have 32 days of school until my last day here. Not too shabby at all.

For the first time in my teaching career, I've asked to have a student removed from my class. This jerk thinks that it is funny to make my class hell because I sent him to the office for not bringing his book to class for WEEKS! Last week I asked him to remove his headphones and he tried to slap my hand away. Then, I tried to take away the geometry homework he was copying and he said, "Don't touch my stuff, fool." The whole class period, he sits in the back of the room, doesn't do a single thing and looks at me with menacing eyes. What a jerk. I've heard his father has been in and out of jail and he's never really met him. The sad part of all this is that we had a really good relationship before. Knowing of his family life, I really made an effort to reach out to him and encourage him to do his best in my class. I KNOW that he knows that I considered him to have potential and that I really wanted him to improve in my class. Maybe that is more the reason why his sudden change is so upsetting to me.

I'm just not cut out to teach high school. I am way to sensitive for the kids' attitude and lack of respect. I know that they are young and going through a "phase," but it still hurts me. I know that I am a good teacher and I try my best to make a positive impact on my students. But these kids are way too ungrateful and think it's funny or cool to be mean spirited. I didn't become a teacher to be see the sad state of our future and be discouraged by what I think the future holds for the students in my class.

I love teaching younger kids. They are not jaded by the system yet. They all think they are smart and try to prove it to me in their own little ways. I feel like I can make some sort of impact on them and make them feel good about their talents, whatever it may be.

So, going back to the student. I told the administration that I feel threatened and uncomfortable with him in my room and told them to remove him IMMEDIATELY. If I wasn't pregnant, I wonder if I would just put up with it and try my best to work with this student- on his emotions and academics. But, right now, at this point in my life, I don't care and I don't want to go through the stress.

Have I become jaded? I wonder.

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