Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Yesterday night, it dawned on me that Tyler's 5th birthday passed us and I didn't give him a birthday card. In previous years, I wrote cards to him each year in hopes to give it to him one day, but this year I realized that didn't have to wait for "one day" because the little fella knows how to read!

It was late at night and I didn't want to go around looking for a card. I was already on the computer so I decided to just type up a letter for him. After I printed it, I folded it and wrote "To: Tyler, From: Mommy" and left it on the floor in his room in hopes that he would find it in the morning. Well, in the morning he came to my room and told me he read the letter and smiled.

A few minutes later he said, "I wish I got a card instead." I wasn't mad AT ALL by this statement. He is only five years old and he was only saying what was on his mind and he probably thinks of birthday wishes to be in cards, but I thought this would be the perfect time to teach him a big lesson.

We have a rule in this house. If you get something from someone- anything- and you wish for something else out loud, the gift that you were given is taken away immediately. I just think that ungrateful kids are so ugly! (I don't ever even want to hear my boys say that they want to return a gift that someone gave them! It's one thing for an adult to return something that someone else gave them, but I find it weird and spooky about a kid that is so open to returning a gift that someone else has gotten him.) This rule came from the fact that I have had kids in my class say to me that they wanted something else when I gave them something as a teacher. For example, sometimes on Fridays, I would take some kids over to eat lunch at Wendys across the street where I used to work and can you believe that some kids would say, "I wish we could eat somewhere else." I wanted to slap them! Here I was trying to do something nice and they would say out loud that they wanted something else!

So I said, "Tyler, you know the rule. I am so sorry, but I will have to take this letter from you." Harsh? Maybe. But sometimes, I think you it takes something like this to make a big impact. Plus I didn't think he would take it that badly. Maybe a "Ah, mom, I am sorry, please don't take it away." BUT NO! Tyler started bawling and saying he was so sorry. I felt horrible for making him cry and for starting off the day on a terrible note. Of course, I told him that he could keep the letter but that he would have to be more careful with his words in the future if someone goes out of their way to do something or get something for him.

Like I said, I don't know if this was too harsh, but it's something that I'm very passionate about teaching my boys. I don't ever want them to think they DESERVE anything or EXPECT anything from people, and I want to raise boys who have a thankful heart.... thankful of the all the little things as much as the perceived big things.



Blogger Christine said...

i love how that letter meant a lot to tyler when you said you would take it away. i think this is a great lesson and you are right to teach it.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Wandering Chopsticks said...

It's good that you started him young so he knows early on. There are too many ungrateful kids these days who don't even know to say thank you.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Missy Krissy said...

you are such a good mommy! please show me your ways wise one!

8:36 AM  
OpenID hyoeun said...

thanks for teaching me along the way. =) i want to be a good mom too.

1:44 PM  

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