Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Good morning. Going to Jason's grandmother's funeral today. Not looking forward to it, but it'll be good to see the immediate and extended family come together.

I had a weird dream last night. Someone invited me to dinner. I was an hour and half late to get to the restaurant. I felt so bad, I cried all the way there and eventually canceled on her on the road. It was a very vivid dream because I remember feeling like the most horrible person in the world.

Don't know what to make of this dream, but maybe it comes from the fact that I totally said two very wrong things to two different people in the last week, and I've been thinking about it the last few days. Dang it...me and my fat mouth. I should really just shut up and be that girl I described in my previous post- speak softly, saying only occasional "uh-huhs." Maybe I WANT to be THAT girl. Ah ha, talk about psychoanalysis here.

I want to start on project on my blog! "Oooh, project!" (Isn't that a quote from somewhere? Clueless?) I'm keeping it under wraps for now, but it's something I've been thinking about doing for as long as I've had this blog....talk about procrastination! Since I just got a new scanner (now learning to work it is another story), I think I will start my project soon! :)

Oh, and for some reason, this reminds me of a post that I started way back when that I never finished. A long time ago, I wrote about a girl who wears full on make up one day and none the next, confusing the hell out of me. I said I would write more about this girl. Can you guess who it is? Yes, me! I really need to get my act together. I mean, who in there right mind wears full on make up on certain days and absolutely none on other days? I am sure I confused everyone at Tyler's school- showing up one day like I'm going on a job interview and the next day dropping him off looking like a dang alcoholic or something. You know, we're totally beyond that age where we can pull this off- make up one day, none the next. It's just not cute. It's just weird and you could end up looking like a dang schizophrenic!

You know who is an awesome dad? Jason. He never stops to amaze me in his role as daddy. Yesterday, he told Tyler that he needed to talk to him after dinner. So after Tyler ate, he went to him and they had a "man to man" talk about the passing of Jason's grandmother and about what Tyler should expect at the funeral. It was really cute and seriously, Jason AMAZES me time and time again with how he interacts with the boys. I say AMAZE, in capital letters, because as most of you know, he just doesn't have that personality where he is able (or cares) to read other people, but with the boys...OMG! He knows exactly what to say and knows exactly what they need at that moment. I always tell people you never know what kind of parent your spouse will truly be until you have a child together. I mean, you could guess, but you will never really know until that baby is popped out into this world. Before we got married, Jason always said he loved kids and wanted kids, but seriously, I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams what kind of dad Jason would be. He has surpassed all expectations- I have learned in the last four years or so that Jason has a true gift when it comes to knowing how to raise, talk, and bond with Tyler and Chase. It goes beyond just loving them. It's hard for me to articulate, but he is just a great father through and through.

Well, happy Friday to y'all! Our prayers have come true (Tyler actually PRAYED this!) because our couches are finally coming this morning...wahoo! No more beach chairs! It only took two months. Now, too bad our cable's not working, so what good are couches? Oh, the story of my life...something is always broken and I have no clue how to fix it! I seriously need a 24 hour, on call tech person!

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