Spaz Attack

Thoughts from a big spaz who has lots to spaz about.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Oh my, I just burnt corn! My goodness, can't get the simplest thing right in the kitchen! All I had to do was put the dang corn in water and let it boil! I sure let it boil...boiled till all the water was gone and the bottom of the corn turned charred black! Now, the whole place smells like I burnt microwavable popcorn! Great, oh great!

So, people have been reading this blog and emailing me with such concern! Mostly, people want to know, "What is wrong with you?" Well, many things, but let's just stick to the condition at hand. I have a separated placenta. A what? The placenta- the thing that houses the baby for 9 months. A part of my placenta is separated from my uterus. I've had this condition for the entire pregnancy. In the beginning the ultrasound showed that I had this and my doctor put me on bedrest. When things looked like it was getting better, she told me I could resume my regular activities, but with great caution. I guess I listened to the "resume my regular activities" part but not the "great caution" part. Cause on Saturday in Cambria, the day before we thought we lost the baby, we walked and walked around Cambria's downtown (one long boring street of antiques), I danced with Tyler in front of the fireplace trying to work off my damn steak we had for lunch (Yup, steak for lunch. I'm a mean eater.) and then held him in my arms for thirty minutes trying to put him to sleep. Not smart. At this point, there's a very slim chance of my placenta reattaching itself. So the goal is not the separate it any more than it is right now. If that happens, that would mean a lot of complications for me and the baby.

So, now I've been put on bed rest for the entire pregnancy! Yup, four more months. I am too traumatized to use the restroom, let alone walk to get the mail so other than weekly visits to the doctors, I'm staying put! I've watched so much tv that I can't stand the tv at the moment. Looking at the remote makes me nauseous and gives me a headache.

I feel out of it and out of touch. I think...
What day of the week is it?
What DAY is it?
Is it May yet?
What time is it?
Wait, is Oprah on?
The lack of sun exposure is surely turning me into a pale ghost.
Why did I waste money on this new layered haircut when no one in the world will see it and it's always up in a ponytail?
Why did I buy all this maternity clothes when all I wear is my sweats?
How are my kids at school?
All the parents must hate me.
The kids must be at the library right now with the sub since it is...
Wait, what day of the week is it?

What to do, what to do with my time. Should I start the next great American novel? Should I get ready for the next school year? (though I have no idea what grade I will be teaching) Should I be decorating and preparing for the new baby? (that's kind of hard when you can't go out nor do we have place for any stuff even if I did get anything!)

So, I sit here and blog. Do you know how slow the day goes by when you are not suppose to move or walk? Try it for 1 minute and tell me how it feels. If you say, relaxing, try it for another 168 hours and then get back to me.

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